Leaving the Store, I couldn't find my Keys. They weren't in my pockets.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

My wife has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. She's afraid that the car could be stolen.

As I looked around the parking lot, I realized she was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then, I made the most difficult call of all to my wife: "I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen."

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard her voice. "Are you kidding me?" she barked, "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

She retorted, "I will; just as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your damn car!"

Welcome to the golden years...