Philosophers Of the 20th Century 

Jean Kerr... The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

 ~ Prince Philip... When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

 ~ Harrison Ford... Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.

~ Spike Milligan... The best cure for Sea Sickness is to sit under a tree.

 ~ Jean Rostand... Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger... Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.

~ WH Auden... We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. \

~ Johnny Carson... If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. ~ Jimmy Durante... Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

~ George Roberts.. The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.

~ Jonathan Winters... If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.

~ Robert Benchley... I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

~ John Glenn... As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.

~ David Letterman... America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

 ~ Howard Hughes... I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Actually, I'm a billionaire.

~ Old Italian proverb... After a game of chess, the King and the pawn go into the same box.