Hey Basil, that puts some stuff into perspective don't it....no wonder the odd tourist gets lost out in the back paddock.
You and Dave just about keep this forum alive...goodonya's
dave06 said
09:17 PM Aug 13, 2008
yep fully agree, its a bloody big country dont notice it when you go from one beatifull spot to another, spent six months just doodling around N.S.W. one year, still dont reckon we seen it all, I just want to keep going and going dont want to come home, thanks be to ya general, we just put our thoughts and mind wanderings down as you all should, after all thats what the forum is here for, travellers sharing good times with fellow travellers and occasionally passing on a little bit of knowledge gained through time, gone are the days of "ask the expert crap" we are all freinds talking, sharing experiences and hopefully helping along the way. just the same as we do when around a fire in the middle of nowhere except its a bit drier here. if we bring a smile along the way, my job is done
general said
10:56 PM Aug 13, 2008
Well, from my perspective, your job's done....but Hell man, don't stop now, I'd reckon you have a few chuckles left inya yet!
Jill B said
10:01 AM Aug 14, 2008
Yep, Australia is BIG! I talk to a few people UpOver who think we are just a little island down here. I had a map somewhere that compares Aus to USA, and we are around the same size. Some think Texas is big.............................
dave06 said
01:45 PM Aug 14, 2008
well here is a comparison map between the usa and aust. and the u.s. is not that much bigger, sorry it's in black and white but it's an old photo
It's always interesting talking to people of European descent who are here for a 1 month holiday in a camper and even their Tutonic efficiency does not prepare them for the distances involved. One chap was talking to me at the Daintree Ferry Xing and wanted to know if the car they had hired would be ok to Cooktown (Bloomfield track) I pointed out to him that he would be washed away at the first creek....I also took great pleasure in explaining that the crockodile warning signs were written in German first because Australian Crokidiles prefered the taste of Europeans because we Aussies were "Tough".... Not that I don't like tourists but if I went to their country I'd be better prepared....
clazandaza said
05:26 PM Aug 17, 2008
I was at a petrol station in Cairns recently (in uniform filling up a police 4x4) when two German lads in a very ordinary looking L300 van asked me and my partner how to get to Normanton. They were planning a trip to Broome via Hells Gate, Fitzroy Crossing etc. My partner and I are both from Western Qld so we had look at their gear. Spare tyre good for about four Ks. Wheel bearings on front wheels cactus, No spare fuel or water containers and paid about $4 grand too much for the $5 grand vehicle. They also wanted to know if they could sleep in their sleeping bags on the ground in areas such as Leichardt Falls. 'Sure' we said, 'Crocs love Germans for breakfast.' Unfazed they thanked us very much and went off to buy a spare tyre, jerry can and some croc repellant.
We used to lose a lot of Germans out west.
Ian Anderson (Pauline's toy boy)
Basil Faulty said
11:24 AM Aug 18, 2008
clazandaza wrote:
I was at a petrol station in Cairns recently (in uniform filling up a police 4x4) when two German lads in a very ordinary looking L300 van asked me and my partner how to get to Normanton. They were planning a trip to Broome via Hells Gate, Fitzroy Crossing etc. My partner and I are both from Western Qld so we had look at their gear. Spare tyre good for about four Ks. Wheel bearings on front wheels cactus, No spare fuel or water containers and paid about $4 grand too much for the $5 grand vehicle. They also wanted to know if they could sleep in their sleeping bags on the ground in areas such as Leichardt Falls. 'Sure' we said, 'Crocs love Germans for breakfast.' Unfazed they thanked us very much and went off to buy a spare tyre, jerry can and some croc repellant.
We used to lose a lot of Germans out west.
Ian Anderson (Pauline's toy boy)
Ahhhhh Croc repellant....I thought they would have needed a licence to carry a 12 gauge??? You see it was the UNIFORM, these Teutonic types love a "Father Figure" and as you were in Uniform.... There is so much space out there you could loose anybody and occasionally a weird story surfaces like the guy wandering around a campsite at Lake Amadeus a few years ago and unearthed a mummified leather pouch (it was a bulls scrotum for those of you who must know) full of spanish coins dating from the 1600's, mind boggling as to how it got there and was never found untill 1998... I'll try and find a URL to the story, I believe the ATO would still be investigating.
LesleyW said
07:34 AM Aug 25, 2008
Well Guys - I think us two Poms have got your land sussed and well in perspective. We're allowing a year to get all the way round (this time). We've been reading books and watching every flippin' TV programme on Oz that we could find ever since Jeff had this idea of buying a motorhome and becoming grey nomads for a year.
As I've said before on this Forum, we've both lived there and have a pretty good idea of what town life is like. Your countryside is a very different kettle of fish (barra, I hope)though, and we are very aware of the many problems just sitting there waiting for the unwary. There is no way that we will be complacent about anything, but that sure as heck isn't going to stop us enjoying ourselves.
I just hope that it doesn't take us too long to find our perfect (???) motorhome after we arrive on Friday. We're thinking that it might take about two weeks looking in both Sydney and Newcastle. I suppose some kind soul is going to tell me that this is totally impossible, that we need to allow twice that - oh dear, I hope not.
See y'all soon
Lesley
Basil Faulty said
11:47 AM Aug 25, 2008
Lesley, enjoy your trip. Yes Barra, the famous barra & chips....Well take it from me that the Barra if fresh is fantastic if frozen no so good. Our best F&C comes from areas where there is fresh seafood and fresh spuds to handmake the chips so the NSW coast is a good starting point. Best restaurant in NSW is at Harrington on the lower mid north coast just north ( 45 mins) of Taree. You can get a fantastic lunch there, whiting, flathead etc or a seafood basket all fresh, none of the frozen stuff for au$12 (12 pounds) spectacular views, do try it, called Inspirations at Harrington. Now a question as an Aussie beach lover can you tell me how you could actually enjoy one of those english beaches that are made of "gibbers" Oz slang for round stones? Oh and we actually go in the water, don't sit at the seaside in deck chairs with blankets wrapped around us listening to Reg Dixson play organ memories.... " Oh we do like to be beside the seaside, Oh we do like to be beside the sea....." You will also discover that we have very dry sense of humour...you will have seen these Q@A's from our tuorist board... These questions were posted on an Australian Tourism Website & the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour
Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
You and Dave just about keep this forum alive...goodonya's
We used to lose a lot of Germans out west.
Ian Anderson (Pauline's toy boy)
There is so much space out there you could loose anybody and occasionally a weird story surfaces like the guy wandering around a campsite at Lake Amadeus a few years ago and unearthed a mummified leather pouch (it was a bulls scrotum for those of you who must know) full of spanish coins dating from the 1600's, mind boggling as to how it got there and was never found untill 1998...
I'll try and find a URL to the story, I believe the ATO would still be investigating.
Now a question as an Aussie beach lover can you tell me how you could actually enjoy one of those english beaches that are made of "gibbers" Oz slang for round stones? Oh and we actually go in the water, don't sit at the seaside in deck chairs with blankets wrapped around us listening to Reg Dixson play organ memories.... " Oh we do like to be beside the seaside, Oh we do like to be beside the sea....."
You will also discover that we have very dry sense of humour...you will have seen these Q@A's from our tuorist board...
These questions were posted on an Australian Tourism Website & the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour
__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ...
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
____________________________ ______________________
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male popula tion? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
__________________________________________________
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
Hi Bas again, I am still looking around and I came across this, thanks for posting it, I am still breathless from laughing. Cheers Monica