went to whyalla to the money theiving place (commonly known as westlands) by royal decree issued by her grandness "madam dragon"  "we are not amused by the common gifts found in our regional locality" I said "HUH!"  " nothing decent to buy in Pirie" she says  "OH!! " says I so off we goes

past the usual rubbish that just sort of gathers in the trolley as one passes choccy's, biccy tins for aunt ethel, soft licorice for unca robby (he's got no teeth and he lost his nose in some industrial accident, "SO how does he smell" I hear you ask, "BLOODY HORRIBLE" had to say it, oldies are always goodies HAH!!, now what was I saying OH YEAH!!) through the isle of the undead perfumery 

until I seen the promise land the great mythical place that shows on no known map, hidden by view by cloud and mist only showing itself occasionally in rare clear windless conditions, "THE TOY SECTION!!!!" right says I,
 
I'M off, I carefully guided my way past the vicious wallett devouring barbie dolls, past the saving depleating electronic toys with one monastic goal in mind, something for my 13 month old grandaughter, must be special and expensive and REALLY BIG!!!, remember I have great opposition from the other dirty rotten team, the filthy opposition the "OTHER GRANDPARENTS" I spit with the very thought of the vile name, ptttuuiii!!

I stroll, nay I stealthily hunt down my as yet unknown prey, the victim itself is unwittingly in my sights, then "I SPY IT" I put down the childish rubbish in a clear moment of shear concentration as there is only one left and another theiving vulgar half human "thing" has spied it, I give her the evil eye, DARING her to make a run and grab it, she faulters and I dive and it is my clutches, an evil laugh escapes from the very depth of my primevil being, I dont care as everybody stares at me in disbeleif

I have the "GREAT" unsurpassable unbeatable gift that a grandparent could find for any child, I have in my hands "THE NEWEST AND BESTEST TALKING ELMO THINGY" dont know what it does, but it was the last one and expensive and they (the opposition) havent got a pressy as good as this, "SO IN YOUR FACE FAKE SECOND RATE CALL YOURSELF GRANDPARENTS"

It makes me recall the same experince with my first grandchild . I went into Grace Bro's in Penrith and off to the Toy section on the very day she was born . And there it was the biggest happiest looking honey coloured bear I have every seen then or now. It stood 3 foot high and was as soft as a baby bum . Walking proudly around the store with the bear under arm in my Airforce uniform many a mature women was heard to say "isn't that cute " to which I answered the bear isn't bad either. Had I had known what a chic magnet the bear was I would have got one years before that day , but alas it's to late I'm bearly making into the fridge magnet stage these days. I've lost that animal attraction we all once had

Aw Wombat, don't sell yourself short. If your still capable of getting into and out of your rig, and can put 2 feet on the floor in the morning, all is right with the world.
I sent my Christmas packages off to the family yesterday, with the Chrissy cards.  Yippee!!! It's almost a traumatic experience when I'm not going to be there. Do I buy DVD's? What are they into? What size are they this year for clothes? Do the girls still wear those head bands? There are some really nice ones. What a dilemma! So I bought some Aust Geographic DVD's, a couple of little cars and a game for the boys, and a little handbag with lip gloss for the grand daughter. But I did! They're gone to Aust Post heaven, at great expense to this manager. I avoid the commercialism and brain draining, in your face merchandise. Bless 'em. Merry Christmas everyone.  Safe and happy travels over the silly season.  Cheers Granny