For those who hold a Masters in English here is something to ponder. <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p.boldplaintxt, li.boldplaintxt, div.boldplaintxt {mso-style-name:bold_plain_txt; mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0cm; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p.plaintxtnojus, li.plaintxtnojus, div.plaintxtnojus {mso-style-name:plain_txt_no_jus; mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0cm; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0cm; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} span.mail {mso-style-name:mail;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->
THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH
The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'where's the self- help section?' she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. What if there were no hypothetical questions? If a deaf person signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?' What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms are they afraid someone will clean them? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs? What was the best thing before sliced bread? One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How is it possible to have a civil war? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it? Why are haemorrhoids called 'haemorrhoids' instead of 'assteroids'? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented? Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?
THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH
The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'where's the self- help section?' she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf person signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?'
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it?
Why are haemorrhoids called 'haemorrhoids' instead of 'assteroids'?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented?
Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?