Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing s ex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says 'You know what I want dont you?'
'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole fri ggin bed by the looks of it!'
Q. Whats a Catholic priest & a pint of Guiness got in common?
A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whos head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her. A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said 'I dont think thats her, she wasnt that tall!'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says 'To hell with this!' & storms off..
He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks 'What did you do?'
Paddy replies 'Ive put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!'
Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue. 'Be Jeysus!' he said, 'I didnt even know they had mobile phones!'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say 'Crikey! Theres a bloke here who was 152!'
Paddy says 'Whats his name?'
Mick replies 'Miles from London !'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'Its thick Irish like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick you if I could swim!'
jimricho said
06:50 PM Nov 10, 2009
Paddy: "Mick, why do scuba divers always fall backwards into the water?"
Mick: "Because, Paddy, if they fell forward they would still be in the fookin boat!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are flying with you?'
Paddy replies 'I dont know! Its your f***ing plane!!'
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy 'Im gonna have the day off, Im gonna prtend Im mad!'
He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!' Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts 'Paddy you're mad, go home' So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
'Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman.
'I cant work in the friggin dark! ' says Murphy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing s ex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says 'You know what I want dont you?'
'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole fri ggin bed by the looks of it!'
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Whats a Catholic priest & a pint of Guiness got in common?
A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whos head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her. A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said 'I dont think thats her, she wasnt that tall!'
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says 'To hell with this!' & storms off..
He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks 'What did you do?'
Paddy replies 'Ive put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!'
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue. 'Be Jeysus!' he said, 'I didnt even know they had mobile phones!'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say 'Crikey! Theres a bloke here who was 152!'
Paddy says 'Whats his name?'
Mick replies 'Miles from London !'
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'Its thick Irish like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick you if I could swim!'