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Irish Medical Dictionary

The Irish have the lowest stress rate
because they do not take medical terminology seriously ...

Medical Term		Irish Definition
Artery	-	The study of paintings
Bacteria	-	Back door to cafeteria
Barium	-	What doctors do when patients die
Benign	-	What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section	-	A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat scan	-	Searching for Kitty
Cauterize	-	Made eye contact with her
Colic	-	A sheep dog
Coma	-	A punctuation mark
Dilate	-	To live long
Enema	-	Not a friend
Fester	-	Quicker than someone else
Fibula	-	A small lie
Impotent	-	Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain	-	Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff	-	A Doctor's cane
Morbid	-	A higher offer
Nitrates	-	Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days
Node	-	I knew it
Outpatient	-	A person who has fainted
Pelvis	-	Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative	-	A letter carrier
Recovery Room	-	Place to do upholstery
Rectum	-	Nearly killed him
Secretion	-	Hiding something
Seizure	-	Roman Emperor
Tablet	-	A small table
Terminal Illness	-	Getting sick at the airport
Tumour	-	One plus one more
Urine	-	Opposite of you're out