If I were a Business making good profits, I'd be telling them to buggar off.
Julia Gillard called Bob Brown into his office one day and said,
'Bob,I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters.'
'Good idea Leader, how will we go about it?' said Julia.
'Well,' said julia, 'we'll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats,
some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat.
Oh, and a blue cattle dog. Then we'll really look the part.
We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush.'
'Right.' Said Bob.
Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite blue heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction.
Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub.
They walked in with the dog and up to the bar.
'G'day mate,' said Julia to the bartender, 'two middies of your best beer, make Bob's a Shandy.'
'Good afternoon Leader,' said the bartender, 'two middies of our best coming up.'
Gillard and Bob stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again
to whoever came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.
All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip.
He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.
A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and lifted its tail,looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually, brown and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the barman over.
'Tell me,' said Juila, 'why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?'
'Strewth no!' said the barman.
'Someone told 'em there was a cattle dog in the bar with two rseholes!'
Another one for jooliar - another stockman
A Stockman from North QLD attends a social function where PM Julia Gillard is giving a speech. While speaking, the PM kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around her head. The Stockman says, "Yer havin' some problem with them circle flies?" Julia stops talking and said, " Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of Circle Flies." " Well Ma'am," the stockman replies, "Circle flies hang around these parts a lot. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse." "Oh," Julia replies and resumes her speech. But, a moment later she stops and blunlty asks, "Are you calling me a horses rse?" " No Ma'am," the stockman replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their PM a Horse's rse." "Thankyou for that respectful explanation," Julia responds and resumes her speech once again. Then the Stockman slowly continues, "Hard to fool them flies though"
If I were a Business making good profits, I'd be telling them to buggar off.
Julia Gillard called Bob Brown into his office one day and said,
'Bob,I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters.'
'Good idea Leader, how will we go about it?' said Julia.
'Well,' said julia, 'we'll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats,
some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat.
Oh, and a blue cattle dog. Then we'll really look the part.
We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush.'
'Right.' Said Bob.
Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite blue heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction.
Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub.
They walked in with the dog and up to the bar.
'G'day mate,' said Julia to the bartender, 'two middies of your best beer, make Bob's a Shandy.'
'Good afternoon Leader,' said the bartender, 'two middies of our best coming up.'
Gillard and Bob stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again
to whoever came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.
All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip.
He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.
A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and lifted its tail,looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually, brown and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the barman over.
'Tell me,' said Juila, 'why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?'
'Strewth no!' said the barman.
'Someone told 'em there was a cattle dog in the bar with two rseholes!'
Another one for jooliar - another stockman
A Stockman from North QLD attends a social function where PM Julia Gillard is giving a speech.
While speaking, the PM kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around her head. The Stockman says, "Yer havin' some problem with them circle flies?"
Julia stops talking and said, " Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of Circle Flies."
" Well Ma'am," the stockman replies, "Circle flies hang around these parts a lot. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
"Oh," Julia replies and resumes her speech.
But, a moment later she stops and blunlty asks,
"Are you calling me a horses rse?"
" No Ma'am," the stockman replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their PM a Horse's rse."
"Thankyou for that respectful explanation," Julia responds and resumes her speech once again.
Then the Stockman slowly continues,
"Hard to fool them flies though"
Richo