Damn women drivers!



This morning on the 400, I looked over

To my left and there was a


Woman

In a brand new Cadillac

Doing 110 km/h

With her face up next to her rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.


I looked away
For a couple seconds...

To continue shaving

And when I looked back she was


Halfway over in my lane,

Still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much;


I dropped

My electric shaver

Which knocked

The donut Out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying
To straighten out the car

Using my knees against

The steering wheel,

It knocked


My Cell Phone

Away from my ear

Which fell

Into the coffee

Between my legs!

Splashed,

And burned

Big Peter and the Twins,

Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers,

And disconnected an important call.

Damnwomen drivers!