EIGHT THOUGHTS TO PONDER:

                     Number 8
                     Life is sexually transmitted.

                     Number 7
                     Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

                     Number 6
                     Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. They can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

                     Number 5
                     Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

                     Number 4
                     Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

                     Number 3
                     All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

                     Number 2
                     In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

                     And The Number 1 Thought
                     Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers-- What you do today, might burn your arse tomorrow.