A little old manshuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

Hey Magnarc,

Couldn't possibly comment on crushed nuts but make bold enough to talk about broken wind!

My late wife's grandmother had discovered gas (her son-in-law's term for it). She broke wind with monotonous regularity and her favourite saying was, "Where e'er ye be, let your wind blow free..."

Cheers, and thanks for the yarn!

Chazza, the rest of that little ditty of your Grandma's goes,

"If in church or if in chapel make sure that ye let it rattle"!!!!!!