Ed the Chicken

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'

Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've
Got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground..

A rooster strolled past. 'So,
You're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
Here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this
Strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna
Explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg
Before?'

'Never,' said Ed.

'Well, just relax and
Let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big
Deal.'

He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later,
Out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he
Experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming..

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....

"Ed, wake up! You've  sh*t  the bed!"