The Talking Centipede


A single guy decided life would be more fun 
if he had a pet.



So he went to the pet store 
and told the owner 
that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.



After some discussion, 
he finally bought a talking centipede, 
which came in a little white box 
to use for his house.



He took the box back home, 
found a good spot for the box, 
and decided he would start off 
by taking his new pet 
to the pub for a drink with him.



So he asked the centipede

in the box, 
"Would you like to go 
down the pub with me today? 
We will have a good time."



But there was no answer 
from his new pet.



This bothered him a bit, 
but he waited a few minutes 
and then asked again,
"How about going 
down the pub with me ?"



But again, 
there was no answer 
from his new friend and pet. 
So he waited 
a few minutes more, 
thinking about the situation.



The guy decided 
to invite the centipede 
one last time.



This time he
put his face up against 
the centipede ' s box and shouted,

"Hey, in there! 
Would you like to go 
to
the pub  with me?

.....

This time, 
a little voice 
came out of the box,

"I heard you the first time!

I 'm putting my fxxxing shoes on!"