The WashingtonPost's Mensa Invitational onceagain invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it byadding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition.
Hereare the winners:
1.Cashtration(n.): The act of buying ahouse, which renders the subject financially impotent foran indefinite period of time.
2.Ignoranus:A person who's both stupid and an a***hole.
3.Intaxicaton:Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was yourmoney tostart with.
4.Reintarnation:Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5.Bozone(n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas frompenetrating. The bozone layer,unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down inthe near future.
6.Foreploy:Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7.Giraffiti:Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8.Sarchasm:The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't understand it.
9.Inoculatte:To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10.Osteopornosis:A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11.Karmageddon:It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12.Decafalon(n.):The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13.Glibido:All talk and no action.
14.Dopeler Effect:The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at yourapidly.
15.ArachnolepticFit(n.): The frantic dance performed just after you'veaccidentally walkedthrough aspider web.
16.Beelzebug(n.):Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning andcannotbe cast out.
17.Caterpallor(n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Posthas also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in whichreaders are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words; the winners are:
1.Coffee,n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2.Flabbergasted,adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3.Abdicate,v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4.esplanade,v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.Willy-nilly,adj. Impotent.
6.Negligent,adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7.Lymph,v. To walk with a lisp.
8.Gargoyle,n. Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9.Flatulence,n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by asteamroller.
10.Balderdash,n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11.Testicle,n. A humorous question on an exam.
12.Rectitude,n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13.Pokemon,n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14.Oyster,n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15.Frisbeetarianism,n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16.Circumvent,n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a***hole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't understand it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words; the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
Peter