I hope I've put this in the right topic? If not Mods, please feel free to move it.
We've only been in the van for just over a week and though we've only done one over night trip, we're staying in till just after Christmas we go away. As I'm my husband's carer we're well used to spending 24/ 7 together, we've even run businesses together without issue. But hubby has been a foul mood all week and now we're barely speaking. How do people who travel together manage if there's a disagreement or if you simply need alone time? Seriously, after less than two weeks in this thing I'm ready to sell it, and the old fella along with it!
oldbobsbus said
04:15 PM Dec 10, 2013
Go for a walk take a book with you and be sure to leave your phone at the van...LOL
Have ya asked him whats up his nose maybe he isn't happy on the road..
I was reading in the Wanderer Mag's classifieds today where there is an as new 2012 Jayco MH for sale along with a 2013 car and A frame.. My guess is they bought up big and did one trip and decided they didn't like it..
Traveling isn't for everyone especially if you are incapacitated.
Sue & K said
04:18 PM Dec 10, 2013
Yep, it can put a strain on a relationship being together 24/7 but I think having 'alone' time is important so here's a suggestion or two.
Take yourself off for a walk every day, even if its only down to a local shop to pick up a paper. Most folks on the road have a hobby or two, photography, reading, scrapbooking, painting or any craft...whatever interests you. I love my laptop and spend time heaps of time emailing and 'googling' information etc.
If hubby is cranky perhaps he's bored too...maybe he also needs a new hobby.
-- Edited by Sue & K on Tuesday 10th of December 2013 04:20:03 PM
banjo said
05:00 PM Dec 10, 2013
Communication ! in a word.
We have been full time 24/7 now for over 19 months. Yes we've had our odd moments but nothing that cannot be discussed and worked through.
My wife loves to go off walking for an hour or so alone, that's her self time, she will often message me saying I'm here or wherever do I fancy a coffee, and I'll cycle over and watch the world go by together from some cafe alfresco.
If I get a bit fed up I get my bike out and burn some calories and explore the area we are in.
I have my hobbies like fishing, cycling etc. she reads, walks, plays computers or whatever takes here fancy. Works for us. We are a team and love the life we are living currently.
She does miss the kids and grandkids but a quick flight back and a week of babysitting duties soon cures that !
Hylda&Jon said
05:18 PM Dec 10, 2013
Hylda & I played computer games or just read a book. I don't think we had one argument in 2 years of travel. We did have minor disagreements but never any moody arguments and still never have. If you need your own time just read a book, go for a walk or have your own interests or hobbies. Hylda & I can sit opposite each other compleately engrossed in what we are doing and not say a word for well over an hour. Works great for me and before I met Hylda I was a bit of a hermit enjoying only my own company apart from short visits from odd friends.
Cheers
Jon
kandagal said
05:24 PM Dec 10, 2013
We have spent lots of time together as, before we retired, we worked together, played together (bowls) & now in the motorhome we are still together. I take time of & disappear into the nearest town & play mah-jong or maybe cards if I can find a group. Keith goes off with this spotting scope & looks at birds (feathered ones only I think). But we do have the odd moment when we would cheerfully do away with the other one but thankfully it only lasts a very short time. Compromise works well. Cheers Alice
WollyandPete said
06:34 PM Dec 10, 2013
I could not work with my wife in our business, it just did not work, live with her, go away with her, no problem, yes we argue, we sometimes don't talk to each other, it's all my fault as always, it's not menopause causing it she assures me, I just agree. Keep working on it and good luck with this.
Pete
Gerty Dancer said
06:50 PM Dec 10, 2013
For self-time, my partner and I go for a walk, or do something that's interesting just to me or him, or read.
We noticed, while on a longish trip that you rarely hear "domestics" in C/P's or Free-camps like you do in the 'burbs'. Maybe people who have domestics don't travel?
Oldbobsbus, I thought the same thing when I saw that ad.
pambaz said
07:20 PM Dec 10, 2013
We find the first week away we are a little tired and stressed from all the preparation and getting the house in order etc.saying goodbye to everyone but after several days we settle down and have a wonderful time.
I am a person who every so often has to have time out from everybody including hubby. At home I have my own hobby room and spend MY time in there with my music and hobby. While travelling there is no such luxury but I do manage a walk or reading under the awning with instructions that I need quiet time on my own. My hubby knows this and is great and leaves me to it. Other days I will go to the shops on my own just to give us both a bit of space (that is if there are shops around).
We do have tiffs occassionaly but no more than at home. It's part of married life you can't agree about everything and let's face it it would be boring if you couldn't let off steam sometimes.
just go for a walk, shop, hobby, go and have a chat to someone else.
Give hubby a cuddle and ask what is wrong.
Cloak said
07:31 PM Dec 10, 2013
I find fatigue really messes with our moods.
I hope it's something that simple for you.
Cheers
glassies said
07:46 PM Dec 10, 2013
we hope to get into the things we love when we eventualy get out of here, graeme wishes to go gold panning
and gold fossicking we are intending on buying a gold detector and i love my fishing and exploring places ,but both of these
things will be done together, im sure if we need alone time we shall take a walk or go read a book ,theres plenty out there
perhaps a hobby of some sort would be a good idea ,i once knew a lady that always wanted to paint,she took it up and has
made some unbelievable paintings that are on my walls and many others .
good luck ,and yes being tired makes a lot of stress ,so rest up.
Bryan said
10:10 PM Dec 10, 2013
My wife and I hang out together quite a bit. We even work together and with my son too. The older we get, the closer we get. We still have the odd little disagreement but we get over them quickly. Since we got married she made me promise that we would never go to bed angry with each other and that it didn't matter who was right or who was wrong. Someone must say sorry. Its hard sometimes but we do it. This came about because her best friend's mom and dad had an arguement, went to bed without making up and the dad passed away during the night, the old girl never forgave herself.
leevin said
10:30 PM Dec 10, 2013
No probs here.....still on our honeymoon!
On the road full time. Do everything together. Wouldn't be together if we didn't like each other! We don't forget to stop & smell the roses.
Helena said
07:06 AM Dec 11, 2013
Don't give up we travel in a Mazda whizz bang so not a great deal of room but we manage O.K. don't seem to have many disagreements maybe because I am a talker Bill isn't so I go round the camps talking to all and sundry Bill reads a lot so we both get our own time every day it is a great life enjoy it all maybe you need to ask your husband what is bothering him good luck with it all.
Hydeeeho said
05:30 PM Dec 11, 2013
Kay and I have been known to have the odd tiff, mainly when had a stressful business at Burleigh Heads, she says she will never ever work with me again, but she does not have to as we thankfully retired and find this caravan thingy just great, I know that when she reads this it was all my fault and it probably was, but that was light years ago, since then we have had our 50th wedding anniversary and everything is great. I either try to take the dogs for a walk when we are away or do by myself, it works for us. We are about to take off for our second big lap in mid 2014 and are heading to Melbourne via Greens lake and all places West of here.
Motorhomer13 said
05:46 PM Dec 11, 2013
ALL of the above comments say the same thing...You do your thing and your partner does their thing...meaning hobbies, books, walking or just getting away.
We have just clocked up 41 years together and I introduce Jennifer as "my first wife". I gets eyebrows lifted.
Anyway, She goes walking, birdwatching or whatever....and I do the "I'll just fix this thingo".
While I am typing this, she is making a new dress at the sewing machine!!
Thats my message.
Cheers
Frank
the rocket said
10:39 AM Dec 13, 2013
banjo wrote:
Communication ! in a word.
We have been full time 24/7 now for over 19 months. Yes we've had our odd moments but nothing that cannot be discussed and worked through.
My wife loves to go off walking for an hour or so alone, that's her self time, she will often message me saying I'm here or wherever do I fancy a coffee, and I'll cycle over and watch the world go by together from some cafe alfresco.
If I get a bit fed up I get my bike out and burn some calories and explore the area we are in.
I have my hobbies like fishing, cycling etc. she reads, walks, plays computers or whatever takes here fancy. Works for us. We are a team and love the life we are living currently.
She does miss the kids and grandkids but a quick flight back and a week of babysitting duties soon cures that !
love the last paragraph.
native pepper said
10:51 AM Dec 13, 2013
Flicka9736 wrote:
I hope I've put this in the right topic? If not Mods, please feel free to move it. We've only been in the van for just over a week and though we've only done one over night trip, we're staying in till just after Christmas we go away. As I'm my husband's carer we're well used to spending 24/ 7 together, we've even run businesses together without issue. But hubby has been a foul mood all week and now we're barely speaking. How do people who travel together manage if there's a disagreement or if you simply need alone time? Seriously, after less than two weeks in this thing I'm ready to sell it, and the old fella along with it!
Interesting subject, maybe your blokes not happy with his lot in life and is taking it out on you. If it's not talked about and solved it can make being together a trial, when a good discussion to clear the air could work wonders.. If he won't talk about it, be devious and see if you can find someone he will open up to, then you can find out what ails him and help overcome it.
You say you are his carer, it may have to do with his health problems restricting him and he's frustrated about it, which would be understandable to a degree. Considering you've only been on the road a few weeks, it may have to do with the dramatic change in lifestyle and approach which comes about when you hit the road.
Disagreements on the road for us are very rare, we are all happy within ourselves and any that do, normally revolve around our next stop and whether it has Op shops and a pub. I visit the pub, the girls visit the op shops. From them both we gain lots of local knowledge and it's always really enjoyable, we have different interests, which keep us occupied, so rarely a disagreement, which can't be solved to everyones satisfaction quickly.
If nothing works, you can go solo, trade him in on a better model, or take no notice and just get on with enjoying yourself and leave him to his misery. Hope you find a solution so you can both get on with enjoying life on the road.
Go for a walk take a book with you and be sure to leave your phone at the van...LOL
Have ya asked him whats up his nose maybe he isn't happy on the road..
I was reading in the Wanderer Mag's classifieds today where there is an as new 2012 Jayco MH for sale along with a 2013 car and A frame.. My guess is they bought up big and did one trip and decided they didn't like it..
Traveling isn't for everyone especially if you are incapacitated.
Yep, it can put a strain on a relationship being together 24/7 but I think having 'alone' time is important so here's a suggestion or two.
Take yourself off for a walk every day, even if its only down to a local shop to pick up a paper. Most folks on the road have a hobby or two, photography, reading, scrapbooking, painting or any craft...whatever interests you. I love my laptop and spend time heaps of time emailing and 'googling' information etc.
If hubby is cranky perhaps he's bored too...maybe he also needs a new hobby.
-- Edited by Sue & K on Tuesday 10th of December 2013 04:20:03 PM
We have been full time 24/7 now for over 19 months. Yes we've had our odd moments but nothing that cannot be discussed and worked through.
My wife loves to go off walking for an hour or so alone, that's her self time, she will often message me saying I'm here or wherever do I fancy a coffee, and I'll cycle over and watch the world go by together from some cafe alfresco.
If I get a bit fed up I get my bike out and burn some calories and explore the area we are in.
I have my hobbies like fishing, cycling etc. she reads, walks, plays computers or whatever takes here fancy. Works for us. We are a team and love the life we are living currently.
She does miss the kids and grandkids but a quick flight back and a week of babysitting duties soon cures that !
Hylda & I played computer games or just read a book. I don't think we had one argument in 2 years of travel. We did have minor disagreements but never any moody arguments and still never have. If you need your own time just read a book, go for a walk or have your own interests or hobbies. Hylda & I can sit opposite each other compleately engrossed in what we are doing and not say a word for well over an hour. Works great for me and before I met Hylda I was a bit of a hermit enjoying only my own company apart from short visits from odd friends.
Cheers
Jon
Pete
We noticed, while on a longish trip that you rarely hear "domestics" in C/P's or Free-camps like you do in the 'burbs'. Maybe people who have domestics don't travel?
Oldbobsbus, I thought the same thing when I saw that ad.
We find the first week away we are a little tired and stressed from all the preparation and getting the house in order etc.saying goodbye to everyone but after several days we settle down and have a wonderful time.
I am a person who every so often has to have time out from everybody including hubby. At home I have my own hobby room and spend MY time in there with my music and hobby. While travelling there is no such luxury but I do manage a walk or reading under the awning with instructions that I need quiet time on my own. My hubby knows this and is great and leaves me to it. Other days I will go to the shops on my own just to give us both a bit of space (that is if there are shops around).
We do have tiffs occassionaly but no more than at home. It's part of married life you can't agree about everything and let's face it it would be boring if you couldn't let off steam sometimes.
just go for a walk, shop, hobby, go and have a chat to someone else.
Give hubby a cuddle and ask what is wrong.
I hope it's something that simple for you.
Cheers
and gold fossicking we are intending on buying a gold detector and i love my fishing and exploring places ,but both of these
things will be done together, im sure if we need alone time we shall take a walk or go read a book ,theres plenty out there
perhaps a hobby of some sort would be a good idea ,i once knew a lady that always wanted to paint,she took it up and has
made some unbelievable paintings that are on my walls and many others .
good luck ,and yes being tired makes a lot of stress ,so rest up.
No probs here.....still on our honeymoon!
On the road full time.
Do everything together.
Wouldn't be together if we didn't like each other!
We don't forget to stop & smell the roses.
Don't give up we travel in a Mazda whizz bang so not a great deal of room but we manage O.K. don't seem to have many disagreements maybe because I am a talker Bill isn't so I go round the camps talking to all and sundry Bill reads a lot so we both get our own time every day it is a great life enjoy it all maybe you need to ask your husband what is bothering him good luck with it all.
Kay and I have been known to have the odd tiff, mainly when had a stressful business at Burleigh Heads, she says she will never ever work with me again, but she does not have to as we thankfully retired and find this caravan thingy just great, I know that when she reads this it was all my fault and it probably was, but that was light years ago, since then we have had our 50th wedding anniversary and everything is great. I either try to take the dogs for a walk when we are away or do by myself, it works for us. We are about to take off for our second big lap in mid 2014 and are heading to Melbourne via Greens lake and all places West of here.
ALL of the above comments say the same thing...You do your thing and your partner does their thing...meaning hobbies, books, walking or just getting away.
We have just clocked up 41 years together and I introduce Jennifer as "my first wife". I gets eyebrows lifted.
Anyway, She goes walking, birdwatching or whatever....and I do the "I'll just fix this thingo".
While I am typing this, she is making a new dress at the sewing machine!!
Thats my message.
Cheers
Frank
Interesting subject, maybe your blokes not happy with his lot in life and is taking it out on you. If it's not talked about and solved it can make being together a trial, when a good discussion to clear the air could work wonders.. If he won't talk about it, be devious and see if you can find someone he will open up to, then you can find out what ails him and help overcome it.
You say you are his carer, it may have to do with his health problems restricting him and he's frustrated about it, which would be understandable to a degree. Considering you've only been on the road a few weeks, it may have to do with the dramatic change in lifestyle and approach which comes about when you hit the road.
Disagreements on the road for us are very rare, we are all happy within ourselves and any that do, normally revolve around our next stop and whether it has Op shops and a pub. I visit the pub, the girls visit the op shops. From them both we gain lots of local knowledge and it's always really enjoyable, we have different interests, which keep us occupied, so rarely a disagreement, which can't be solved to everyones satisfaction quickly.
If nothing works, you can go solo, trade him in on a better model, or take no notice and just get on with enjoying yourself and leave him to his misery. Hope you find a solution so you can both get on with enjoying life on the road.