I've got a new neighbour!

She lives right next door!

I can see her place from my back deck!

She's single!

She's blonde

She has the body of a porn star!

I watched as she came from work this evening!

I was surprised when she waled up my driveway and nocked on my door!

I rushed to open it, she looked in the eye and said

"I've just got home, and I'm so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long! Are you busy tonight?"

I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm free , I have no plans at all"

She said "Great, could you look after my dog?"

Being a senior citizen really sucks!