The Italian said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non-stop for five minutes."

The Frenchman said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special aphrodisiac oil from Provence and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight."

The Aussie said: That's nothing!  Last night I massaged my wife, y'know, all over her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours."

The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked, "Two full hours? Wow! That's phenomenal.  How did you do it to make her scream for two hours?"

The Aussie replied: "I wiped my hands on the curtains."

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