We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner and theatre evening.  We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parrot and put the cat in the backyard.  We phoned the local taxi company and requested a cab.

The taxi arrived, and we opened the front door to leave the house.  As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted back into the house.  We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to get at the parrot.  My wife walked on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat.

The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.  Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night, so she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother".

A few minutes later, I got into the cab.  "Sorry I took so long, I said, as we drove away.  "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out.  She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.  Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.  But it worked, so I hauled her downstairs and threw her out into the backyard.  She'd better not **** in the vegetable garden again"!

The silence in the taxi was deafening.