1.  WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

     Because they are plugged into a genius

2.  WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

     Because they don't have enough time

3.  WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

     They don't stop to ask directions

4.  WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LAY ON THEIR BACKS?

     Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock

5.  WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

     So they won't hump women's legs at ****tail parties

6.  WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

     You need a rough draft before you make a final copy

7.  HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

     Don't know.....it never happened

(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

8.  WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

     Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn

.........................................

One for the ladies -

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,

'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends' I replied.  'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back 'University of Oklahoma'

and they say blondes are dumb!

.................................

A couple was laying in bed - the man says 'I'm going to make you the

happiest woman in the world ' the woman replies 'I'll miss you darling.'

....................................

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of 

the shower.

'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn

like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money' she replied.      

June C.

LOL ha ha.... 

Aussie Paul. 

Love it

Blues man.

So true

Hi June,.... may I state a case on behalf of us blokes....there are no damp patches when you are on top......perhaps women should be obscene and not heard...LMAO....

...and on behalf of the Ladies......before you meet your handsome Prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads.......when all that's stiff is his socks...take the money and run...

Hoo Roo

Goldfinger, you crack me up!   

June C.    

Hi June.....'any which way but lose'.....my arm tattoo sums up my current attitude to life ......I've had it since I fell asleep in the Hells Angels Tattoo Parlour from too much Bundy to numb the pain...it was supposed to be a coiled death adder....and when I awoke..I had Michigan J Frog...<they actually put Larry F Frog>...alias the Singing Frog....<You're toooo young to remember him?>....I didn't complain..I just took my frog and my arm and I left......lmao...Hoo Roo

-- Edited by Goldfinger on Friday 28th of August 2015 02:08:12 PM