SEENAGER

I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. 

 I dont have to go to school or work. 

 I get an allowance (pensions). 

 I have my own pad. I dont have a curfew.

I have a drivers license and my own car. 

 I have ID that gets me into bars. 

 The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. 

And I dont have acne. Life is great.

Yes, me too...

Aussie Paul. 

You can also add that, being retired takes all day and there is no time left to do anything else, apart from maintaining the beer ridge.