The Satnav A new poem by Pam Ayres
I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones, My Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions, Especially how to drive
"It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five".
It tells me when to stop and start, And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever, Safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red, And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively, Just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front, And all those to the rear
And taking this into account, It specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver, Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car, It still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it, And get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, Makes sure I'm properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things, And keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, And my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off.
The Satnav A new poem by Pam Ayres
I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones, My Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions, Especially how to drive
"It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five".
It tells me when to stop and start, And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever, Safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red, And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively, Just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front, And all those to the rear
And taking this into account, It specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver, Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car, It still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it, And get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, Makes sure I'm properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things, And keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, And my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off.
My model starts a screaming when a speed hump comes in sight,
I have to slow to 5km, a speed it says is right.
I have scratch marks in the console, and foot marks through the floor.
I become a nervous wreck, when my GPS starts to roar.
My GPS helps me back the van, using gestures Ive never seen.
Specially those one fingered ones, bordering on obscene.
Dont you wish you had an up graded GPS, like the one I have with me.
Makes the tour about this place happy and stress free!
Good one Cupie.