Two Irish builders <Paddy and Shamus> are seated either side of a table in a rough pub in Belfast when a well dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.
The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the 'Suit'.
Paddy: I reckon he's an Accountant.
Shamus: No way- he's a Stockbroker...
Paddy: He ain't no Stockbroker! A Stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Paddy, and he makes for the toilet.
On entering the toilet, he sees that the 'Suit' is standing at the urinal. Curiosity and several beers get the better of the builder.
Paddy: 'Skuse me...no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
'Suit': No offence taken my good man...I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Paddy: Oh!..What's that then?
'Suit': I'll try to explain by example..do you have a goldfish at home?
Paddy: Errr...Mmmm..well yeah, I do as it happens!
'Suit': Well its logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. So which is it?
Paddy: It's in a pond!
'Suit': Well its logical and reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden.
Paddy: As it happens, yes, I have got a big garden!
'Suit': Well then it's logical to assume that in this Town if you have a large garden, then you have a large house?
Paddy: As it happens I've got a five bedroom house.....built it meself!
'Suit' Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you havn't built it just for yourself, and that you are quite probably married?
Paddy: Yes, I am married, I live with my wife and five children.
'Suit' Well then, its logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Paddy: Yep!...you got that one right Gov'ner...five or six nights a week I throw a leg over...
'Suit': Well its logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
Paddy: Me?....Never!
'Suit': Well there you are! That's Logical Science at work!
Paddy: How's that then?
'Suit': Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Paddy: I see! That's pretty impressive..thanks mate for that.
Both leave the toilet and Paddy returns to his mate.
Shamus: I see the 'Suit' was in there Paddy, did you ask him what he does?
Paddy: Yep!...He's a Logical Scientist!
Shamus: What's that then?
Paddy: O'ill try and explain...Do you have a goldfish?
Shamus: Nope!
Paddy: Well then, you're a Wanker!....
Hoo Roo <you had no idea where this one was leading you,...did you... and had to take me on trust??...lmao>
Baggie said
09:02 AM Feb 3, 2016
Full marks again for that one Goldfinger, that one has gone around the world too.
Two Irish builders <Paddy and Shamus> are seated either side of a table in a rough pub in Belfast when a well dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.
The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the 'Suit'.
Paddy: I reckon he's an Accountant.
Shamus: No way- he's a Stockbroker...
Paddy: He ain't no Stockbroker! A Stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Paddy, and he makes for the toilet.
On entering the toilet, he sees that the 'Suit' is standing at the urinal. Curiosity and several beers get the better of the builder.
Paddy: 'Skuse me...no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
'Suit': No offence taken my good man...I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Paddy: Oh!..What's that then?
'Suit': I'll try to explain by example..do you have a goldfish at home?
Paddy: Errr...Mmmm..well yeah, I do as it happens!
'Suit': Well its logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. So which is it?
Paddy: It's in a pond!
'Suit': Well its logical and reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden.
Paddy: As it happens, yes, I have got a big garden!
'Suit': Well then it's logical to assume that in this Town if you have a large garden, then you have a large house?
Paddy: As it happens I've got a five bedroom house.....built it meself!
'Suit' Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you havn't built it just for yourself, and that you are quite probably married?
Paddy: Yes, I am married, I live with my wife and five children.
'Suit' Well then, its logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Paddy: Yep!...you got that one right Gov'ner...five or six nights a week I throw a leg over...
'Suit': Well its logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
Paddy: Me?....Never!
'Suit': Well there you are! That's Logical Science at work!
Paddy: How's that then?
'Suit': Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Paddy: I see! That's pretty impressive..thanks mate for that.
Both leave the toilet and Paddy returns to his mate.
Shamus: I see the 'Suit' was in there Paddy, did you ask him what he does?
Paddy: Yep!...He's a Logical Scientist!
Shamus: What's that then?
Paddy: O'ill try and explain...Do you have a goldfish?
Shamus: Nope!
Paddy: Well then, you're a Wanker!....
Hoo Roo <you had no idea where this one was leading you,...did you... and had to take me on trust??...lmao>