A wife came home early...and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset.
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me a faithful wife, the mother of your children. I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away.'
And the husband replied 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, ' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!!
And the husband began - 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued -'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, ' Please do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
Baggie said
07:38 PM Feb 11, 2016
Woo, Woo, Woo, do you think he got away with that? To be honest, I think he was a kind, understanding, helpful man that had the well being of a woman in distress in his heart and did his best to do what any good & fair man would do when confronted with the same situation. Let's face it, he found a woman in need of a lift, he obliged, saw how unkempt & defenceless she was, so he took her home, gave her a good feed, helped get rid of a heap of garments & underwear that his wife was never going to use, and this lady could put them to good use, and then gave her another thing that his wife had no intentions of using any more which satisfied them both, so it was a win-win situation. I think his wife should have congratulated him for his good thinking & compassion for others in desperate need, and perhaps asked her to stay the night, seeing that she had no where else to sleep. Offered her a good breakfast in the morning and wished her well for the future, and thanked her husband for helping her to get rid of a heap of clothing that she was never going to wear that has now made room for her to buy some more designer outfits that will cost more than a new Ferrari. Now THAT is what I'm sure that all the blokes reading this would agree.
Baggie.
Life is too short to be miserable. Enjoy it while you can & do not whinge.
goldfinger said
08:47 PM Feb 11, 2016
Baggie, I trust you wrote with tongue firmly in cheek...lmao...reminds me of an 'Advice Column' I read that for once was written by a bloke....with the male perspective..
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you...and, knowing there is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old College roommates involved too! If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. Cook him a nice meal while you think about it.....
Q:My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight, and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly men know this. His offer for you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. Cook him a nice meal to show him you love him while you think about it.
Q:My husband always has an orgasm and then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem....perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
Q:My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up, and should seek sensitive training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. This really means that you do not love your husband as much as you should, as he should never have to 'work' to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish, perhaps you can make it up to him by cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you MUST mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, why not cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a Hunter/Gatherer and he needs to prove his prowess with other Hunter/Gatherer's. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. remember nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the Hunter/Gatherer being away for a day...or two...besides its a great time to clean your house. Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable house. Cook him a nice meal upon his return.
Hoo Roo....<The male' Advice Columnist' was a regular 'Dorothy Dicks' wasn't he?..lmao>
-- Edited by goldfinger on Thursday 11th of February 2016 08:48:29 PM
-- Edited by goldfinger on Thursday 11th of February 2016 09:03:09 PM
A wife came home early...and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset.
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me a faithful wife, the mother of your children. I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away.'
And the husband replied 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, ' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!!
And the husband began - 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.
The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued -'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, ' Please do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
Baggie.
Life is too short to be miserable. Enjoy it while you can & do not whinge.
Baggie, I trust you wrote with tongue firmly in cheek...lmao...reminds me of an 'Advice Column' I read that for once was written by a bloke....with the male perspective..
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you...and, knowing there is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend.
Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old College roommates involved too!
If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you.
Cook him a nice meal while you think about it.....
Q:My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight, and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly men know this.
His offer for you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you.
Cook him a nice meal to show him you love him while you think about it.
Q:My husband always has an orgasm and then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem....perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
Q:My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up, and should seek sensitive training.
Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming.
This really means that you do not love your husband as much as you should, as he should never have to 'work' to get you in the mood.
Stop being so selfish, perhaps you can make it up to him by cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband.
If you MUST mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help.
You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift.
To ease your selfish guilt, why not cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged.
The man is a Hunter/Gatherer and he needs to prove his prowess with other Hunter/Gatherer's.
A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home.
remember nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the Hunter/Gatherer being away for a day...or two...besides its a great time to clean your house.
Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable house.
Cook him a nice meal upon his return.
Hoo Roo....<The male' Advice Columnist' was a regular 'Dorothy Dicks' wasn't he?..lmao>
-- Edited by goldfinger on Thursday 11th of February 2016 08:48:29 PM
-- Edited by goldfinger on Thursday 11th of February 2016 09:03:09 PM