Ate salad for dinner!  Mostly croutons & tomatoes.  Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce.  And cheese.   FINE, it was a pizza.  I ate a pizza.
 
How to prepare Tofu:
1.  Throw it in the trash.
2.  Grill some Meat.
 
I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
 
I don't mean to brag but......I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
 
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
 
Kids today don't know how easy they have it.  When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
 
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
 
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school?
Me neither.
 
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented....I forgot where I was going with this.
 
I love being over 50.   I learn something new every day.......and forget 5 others.
 
A thief broke into my house last night.  He started searching for money, so I woke up and searched with him.
 
My dentist told me I need a crown.  I was like:  I KNOW, Right?
 
I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
 
My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds.  Only 15 to go.
 
 
PS:  Sunday, March 13, 2016 ends Daylight Savings Time.  Don't forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.