A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyers office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him very quick.

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Lawyer: Have you any grounds?

Man: YA, YA, acre and half and nice little home.

Lawyer: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

Man: It made of concrete.

Lawyer: Does either of you have a real grudge?

Man: No, we have carport, and not need one.

Lawyer: I mean, what are your relations like?

Man: All my relations still in Poland.

Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

Man: Ya, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player.

Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?

Man: No, I always up before her.

Lawyer: WHY do you want this divorce?

Man: She going to kill me.

Lawyer: What makes you think that?

Man: I got proof.

Lawyer: What kind of proof?

Man: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says, Polish Remover.

Aussie Paul.