The old grey nomad had been jackarooing on a remote property in outback Queensland for the past month when suddenly a brand new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie leans out the window and asks the old grey nomad "If I can tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The old grey nomad looks the young man up and down, obviously a yuppie from the big smoke, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie gets out of his car, whips out a Samsung smartphone, connects it to his ISP and logs on to the internet, navigates to NASA's website, and, using a bluetooth-connected GPS, gets an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in ultra high resolution imagery. The yuppie then makes a copy of the image, opens up a laptop, launches Adobe Photoshop, and loads the image via bluetooth. He enhances the image with various proprietory Adobe smart filters, saves it then exports it to an online server-side processessing facility in Germany. Within seconds he receives an email on his smartphone with an encrypted report attached. He opens the email, decrypts the report and prints it out in full colour, all 175 pages, using a portable 12 volt laser colour printer. He quickly flicks through the report, turns to the old grey nomad and says "You have exactly 1,395 cows and a further 263 calves."
"You're correct" answers the old grey nomad, somewhat surprised. "Well that means you can select one of the calves."
The young yuppie grabs the nearest animal and stuffs it into the boot of his BMW. But before he gets back into his car the old grey nomad puts a challenge to the yuppie. "I tell you what. How about if I can guess who you work for then you give me the calf back."
"You're on, old man," laughs the young yuppie.
The old grey nomad wasted no time and replied "You work for the Australian Government."
"Wow! That's correct!" answered the yuppie. "How did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the old grey nomad. "You showed up here even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used all kinds of fancy expensive equipment that clearly somebody else paid for, and you tried to show me how much smarter than me you are. And you don't know a thing about cows. This is a herd of sheep!"
And the old grey nomad concluded with "Now give me back my dog!"
Bryan said
11:59 AM May 13, 2016
Loved it
Baggie said
05:49 PM May 13, 2016
That's coz you voted for him & I didn't. Loved it just the same.
The old grey nomad had been jackarooing on a remote property in outback Queensland for the past month when suddenly a brand new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie leans out the window and asks the old grey nomad "If I can tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The old grey nomad looks the young man up and down, obviously a yuppie from the big smoke, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie gets out of his car, whips out a Samsung smartphone, connects it to his ISP and logs on to the internet, navigates to NASA's website, and, using a bluetooth-connected GPS, gets an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in ultra high resolution imagery. The yuppie then makes a copy of the image, opens up a laptop, launches Adobe Photoshop, and loads the image via bluetooth. He enhances the image with various proprietory Adobe smart filters, saves it then exports it to an online server-side processessing facility in Germany. Within seconds he receives an email on his smartphone with an encrypted report attached. He opens the email, decrypts the report and prints it out in full colour, all 175 pages, using a portable 12 volt laser colour printer. He quickly flicks through the report, turns to the old grey nomad and says "You have exactly 1,395 cows and a further 263 calves."
"You're correct" answers the old grey nomad, somewhat surprised. "Well that means you can select one of the calves."
The young yuppie grabs the nearest animal and stuffs it into the boot of his BMW. But before he gets back into his car the old grey nomad puts a challenge to the yuppie. "I tell you what. How about if I can guess who you work for then you give me the calf back."
"You're on, old man," laughs the young yuppie.
The old grey nomad wasted no time and replied "You work for the Australian Government."
"Wow! That's correct!" answered the yuppie. "How did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the old grey nomad. "You showed up here even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used all kinds of fancy expensive equipment that clearly somebody else paid for, and you tried to show me how much smarter than me you are. And you don't know a thing about cows. This is a herd of sheep!"
And the old grey nomad concluded with "Now give me back my dog!"
Loved it
I want the portable 12 volt laser colour printer