The Marines found they had too
> many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
>
> They promised any officer who volunteered
> for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in
> a straight line between any two points in his body.
> The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
> The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured
> from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was
> measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and
> asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hand
> to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
> The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old
> Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured
> replied, 'From the tip of my willie to my testicles.'
> It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
> reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the
> previous two Officers had received. But the old guy insisted and they decided to go along with him
> providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
> The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Captain to
> 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer
> placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie
> and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,
''Where are your testicles?''
>The old chief calmly replied, Vietnam
The Marines found they had too
> many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
>
>
> They promised any officer who volunteered
> for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in
> a straight line between any two points in his body.
>
>
> The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
>
>
>
> The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured
> from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was
> measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
>
> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and
> asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hand
> to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
>
>
>
> The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old
> Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured
> replied, 'From the tip of my willie to my testicles.'
>
>
>
> It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
> reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the
> previous two Officers had received. But the old guy insisted and they decided to go along with him
> providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
>
>
>
> The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Captain to
> 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer
> placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie
> and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,
''Where are your testicles?''
>
>The old chief calmly replied, Vietnam
>