An Australian ventriloquist visiting  New Zealand walks
              into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

              He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi

              'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

              Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

              Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

              Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

              Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

              Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

              Dog: 'Yep'

              Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

              Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me
              great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

              Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

              Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

              Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

              Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

              Horse: 'Cool'

              Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

              Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

              Horse: 'Yep'

              Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

              Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
              Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me
              from the Elements.'

              Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

              Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

              Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar......

Aussie Paul.