1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?... 5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? 9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? (I like this one alot!) 12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? 13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks? 15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post? 16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 17. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning. 18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: 19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? 20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it? 21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?..
Tony Bev said
12:17 AM Apr 23, 2017
I will take a stab at this, as I am always open to learn new things
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If a none Oriental person becomes disoriented, with the same number of spins, then yes the Oriental person, will be able to apply for duel citizenship
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? Some probably are, but not to their face
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? No, because infants, do not normally remember their infancy, while on the other hand
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?... Yes, because if it was still grunting, it would not have lost its grunt
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? I do not know, as I personally do not own any lingerie
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Because, in a normal situation, someone will go broke
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Montefiore, Burrata, Ricotta, Emporium, Unicorn, Raclette, Tilsit, Cheddar, Bega, and probably a few words I do not know about
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? Political correctness, also for whatever reason, the racy type racist wish to be known as Pilots
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? They both come from the opposite sides of the pond
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? Because they are looking at things from a different angle
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? (I like this one alot!) It would have been, but the Romans already had the franchise for it, they called it number two
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? Not really, for some, the "I do" bit only last a short time
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? If, electricians were to be known as delighted, musicians were to be known as denoted, cowboys were to be known as deranged, models were to be known as deposed, tree surgeons were to be known as debarked, and dry cleaners were to be known as depressed, someone would probably find something politically incorrect about it
14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks? I read a report (unconfirmed of course), that this was the reason the Chinese invented the comb
15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post? There is a long list of people waiting to have their pictures on a postage stamp. It would not be good for moral, if the criminals were allowed to jump the queue
16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. Not true, there are a lot of people very proficient in swearing, who try, but are still not proficient in driving
17. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning. You could be right on that one, my team has yet to win
18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: Quote In 1878, the French Medical Academy officially recognized evian Natural Mineral Water's favorable effects on human health. Unquote It must be good, it is sold at Woolies
19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? No, if the air and water currents are directed away from the customers, then no harm is done to them 20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it? Yes, the one recovering from constipation
21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?.. To confuse the pirates, we have enough thieving going on, without encouraging the pirates, to become landlubbers
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?...
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? (I like this one alot!)
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?
16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
17. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?..
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If a none Oriental person becomes disoriented, with the same number of spins, then yes the Oriental person, will be able to apply for duel citizenship
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Some probably are, but not to their face
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
No, because infants, do not normally remember their infancy, while on the other hand
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?...
Yes, because if it was still grunting, it would not have lost its grunt
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
I do not know, as I personally do not own any lingerie
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Because, in a normal situation, someone will go broke
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Montefiore, Burrata, Ricotta, Emporium, Unicorn, Raclette, Tilsit, Cheddar, Bega, and probably a few words I do not know about
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
Political correctness, also for whatever reason, the racy type racist wish to be known as Pilots
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
They both come from the opposite sides of the pond
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Because they are looking at things from a different angle
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? (I like this one alot!)
It would have been, but the Romans already had the franchise for it, they called it number two
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
Not really, for some, the "I do" bit only last a short time
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If, electricians were to be known as delighted, musicians were to be known as denoted, cowboys were to be known as deranged, models were to be known as deposed, tree surgeons were to be known as debarked, and dry cleaners were to be known as depressed, someone would probably find something politically incorrect about it
14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
I read a report (unconfirmed of course), that this was the reason the Chinese invented the comb
15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?
There is a long list of people waiting to have their pictures on a postage stamp. It would not be good for moral, if the criminals were allowed to jump the queue
16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Not true, there are a lot of people very proficient in swearing, who try, but are still not proficient in driving
17. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
You could be right on that one, my team has yet to win
18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
Quote
In 1878, the French Medical Academy officially recognized evian Natural Mineral Water's favorable effects on human health.
Unquote
It must be good, it is sold at Woolies
19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
No, if the air and water currents are directed away from the customers, then no harm is done to them
20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
Yes, the one recovering from constipation
21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?..
To confuse the pirates, we have enough thieving going on, without encouraging the pirates, to become landlubbers