The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news.You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order..'The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into thewaiting room where her daughter had been waiting. "Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebratewhen things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I havecancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini." After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There weresome laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some ofthe woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two werecelebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I'vebeen diagnosed with AIDS.'The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hastyretreat. After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,"Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told yourfriends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??" 'Because, I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father afterI'm gone.'And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'