A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit.  It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.  "Mom," said the boy, "what are all those  women doing?"  "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.  The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth?  They're hookers, boy!  They have sex with men for money."  The little boy's eyes get wide  and he says, "Is that true Mom?"  His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes."  After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?"  She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers."

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her  oatmeal each morning.  She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103.  She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

i like them as well