An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft.
A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone.
He yelled, "Mayday, mayday! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday, mayday!"
The employee in the tower immediately put him on speaker phone.
"Calm down, we acknowledge you and we'll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic. Remain calm!"
He began his series of questions:
Tower: "How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the altimeter dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, thats good, remain calm. How do you know you're travelling at 180 mph?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on the airspeed dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, this is great so far, but its heavily overcast. So how do you know you're flying upside down?"
Aircraft: "The **** in my pants is running out of my shirt collar."