Thought you might enjoy this, which a mate of mine just posted on a local Birmingham Facebook page:

A true tale from years ago, told to me by a mate who was there.

My friend Mick was standing outside the cinema early one evening, and traffic was pretty heavy in all directions. He noticed a car waiting at the lights coming from the Harborne direction, driven by an elderly lady who was an L plate driver.

Eventually, the lights changed in her favour, but she kangaroo jumped and stalled the car, and by this time the lights had changed again.

The scene was repeated at the next change, and was made more difficult for the poor dear because the car behind her was a police car.

The police were very considerate, and switched on the loud hailer, and the officer said in a kindly tone "Don't worry madam. When the lights change again, accelerate gently and let the clutch out slowly, and you'll be fine."

When the lights changed again, the poor dear stalled again.

The police officer had unfortunately neglected to turn off the loud hailer, and echoing all round came the words

"Oh Christ, the silly old cow's done it again!"

(She did make it on the next change)