Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
JA2340 said
06:19 PM Jul 22, 2018
Six munce ago I cudnt even spell injunere, now I are wun!
Cadpete said
10:33 PM Jul 23, 2018
Understanding Engineers #2 To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Dave1952 said
11:43 PM Jul 23, 2018
How true Cadpete. My younger son is an engineer and he is very conservative.
dorian said
07:03 AM Jul 24, 2018
Cadpete wrote:
Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
The second engineer was female.
Cadpete said
11:36 PM Jul 24, 2018
Understanding Engineers #3 A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen... They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them."
The ophthalmologist added, "Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them."
They were silent for a moment. Then the engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Cadpete said
11:25 PM Jul 25, 2018
Understanding Engineers #4 What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Understanding Engineers #5 The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want chips with that?"
Cadpete said
03:38 PM Jul 29, 2018
last ones - honest!
Understanding Engineers #6 Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline adjacent to a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers #7 Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers #1
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
The second engineer was female.
Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen... They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,
so we let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them."
The ophthalmologist added, "Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them."
They were silent for a moment. Then the engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
and still they keep coming -
Understanding Engineers #5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want chips with that?"
last ones - honest!
Understanding Engineers #6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.
Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline adjacent to a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers #7
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.