A woman, who was cranky because her husband was late coming home  again, 
decided to leave a note for him saying:

"I've had enough and left you, don't bother coming after me".

As soon as she heard him coming home she hid under the bed to see his 
reaction when he read her note.

When the husband had parked the car he came into the house and went into 
the kitchen. She could hear him open the fridge and a few cupboards and 
then he came into the bedroom. When he came in she was peeping from 
under bed and she could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the 
note.

After a few minutes he wrote something on it before picking up the phone 
and calling someone; - "she's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody 
time, I'm coming to pick you up, put on that sexy french lingerie.Gee 
we're going to have some fun".

He hung up, grabbed his keys and left, and she heard the car drive off.

She came out from under the bed, and she was seething with rage. With 
tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he had written.

"I can see your feet sticking out from under the bed. Stop being such an 
idiot. We're outta bread and milk, throw the kettle on, I'll be back in 
5 minutes".  

Aussie Paul.