Take a field and place four goalposts each end, two long ones in the centre and two shorter ones outside as the players who throw or kick the ball can be somewhat challenged when it comes to accuracy and to save their egos get a lesser score for a near miss. There are 18 players on the field and to qualify you must have a name like Jacko or Gazza, Geoffrey and Jonathan are simply not acceptable. It helps to have a questionable IQ and lack of sporting ethics, the ability to puff out ones chest and confront an opponent who most likely will be doing the same thing, despite looking like two roosters with excess testosterone this appears to be quite acceptable behavior although it is somewhat questionable as to why it is done. The ball is an oval shape and is quite unpredictable when it hits the ground, if it lands amongst a group many hands will make a grab for it and some players will resort to what is called squirrelling in an attempt to get the player holding the ball to release it, this is an illegal move and can be quite painful for the recipient but the spectators expect it. (Squirreling: Running the hand up the players leg and grabbing food for hibernation) To bolster egos the teams have names, not simply a town or city name but must have following that represents a fierce or cunning animal, bird or fish, dogs, dingoes, wolves, sharks, hawks are acceptable, goldfish, lovebirds, kittens are not. The whistle blows and the ball is bounced in the centre and both teams will grope for it like horny inexperienced schoolboys on a first date, one will get it and make a brief run before kicking it to another team member, if it is caught the game stops as this is called a mark and allows the player to kick the ball without interference, if close enough this could score a goal, if not played well it can just miss and still get a minor score, this avoids depression amongst players later as they are quite sensitive and cannot cope with failure. Another team may get the ball and the charade continues in the opposite direction. These episodes run for 27 to 33 minutes then a rest period is allowed so the grounds can profit from the sales of tepid pies and bad beer. There are four of these sessions during the game and all manner of fighting can break out amongst the spectators who have over indulged in the bad beer, this spectacle can be more entertaining than the game itself. At the end the team with the highest score are declared winners and progress to a series of finals whereby the whole charade is repeated with another team. This goes on for about six months then the TV stations spend weeks with post mortems as to why one lost when they should have won, the poor sods who do not like this game still suffer when they thought it was all over. When it finally does subside we then get subjected to cricket but that is another story.
Warren-Pat_01 said
12:23 AM Oct 1, 2018
Hey Pete,
Isn't this sacrilege? You're a "Crow-eater" and making fun of AFL??
I have a similar version for what they call "Football" up here (NRL) - will have to put it here too! Just before I transferred to Townsville, a former workmate in Adelaide said "The Qlders are illiterate as they cannot spell BEER - they only call it XXXX!
DMaxer said
07:33 AM Oct 1, 2018
I like most sports but AFL holds absolutely no interest for me. I think the best description I have heard is "cross country ballet"!
All that hand waving in front of the poor fool who is about to kick the ball, has that ever resulted in someone actually stopping the flight of the ball? Maybe they realise they are on television and are just waving to their mum at home.
Dickodownunder said
08:12 AM Oct 1, 2018
While the AFL is based in Vic it will never be a true national competition.
It cannot achieve balance while most of the clubs are based in Vic.
The minor round draw can never be fair because of this inequality.
I find it is KARMA that a Vic club who rarely travels interstate to play gets to play a grand final on their own home ground with the support of 80% of the crowd loses the big game.
rockylizard said
09:38 AM Oct 1, 2018
Gday...
As a rusted on Pies supporter, I offer the following from an article written by an also-Pies supporter in the media yesterday -
"Were the tears you shed after defeats in 1977 and 1979 and 1980 and 1981 and 1990 (the Pies won, but I was living in London) and 2002 and 2003 and after the psychological release of 2010 - 2011 not enough.
The depth of Collingwood's agony is now easily quantifiable: since 1959 they have played in 16 grand finals, won two, drawn two and lost 12 with six of those defeats by 10 points or less. Thus it is not merely the law of average, but seemingly the law of nature that the Magpies will always lose the close one. Knowing a Collingwood and grand finals almost always finishes in tears it's what we should have expected."
The phrase - "There's always next year" is tattooed on all Collingwood supporters hearts.
Cheers - John
-- Edited by rockylizard on Monday 1st of October 2018 09:40:21 AM
Warren-Pat_01 said
04:15 PM Oct 2, 2018
AFL is not just Melbourne, it is played in most towns of SA, Victoria, Tasmania, southern WA, Darwin & there are teams here in Townsville.
Not certain if it still happens but the State teams of SA, Tasmania & WA used to play the Victorian State team once a year & the he #*!%*! Melbourne-ites were always poaching good players from the other states.
Carry-ball (oops NRL) is ONLY a major in Qld & NSW with the Storm in Melbourne.
The Travelling Dillberries said
08:21 AM Oct 4, 2018
All this Aerial Ping-pong stuff is in the right thread "Just Joking".
Australian Rules Football.
Take a field and place four goalposts each end, two long ones in the centre and two shorter ones outside as the players who throw or kick the ball can be somewhat challenged when it comes to accuracy and to save their egos get a lesser score for a near miss.
There are 18 players on the field and to qualify you must have a name like Jacko or Gazza, Geoffrey and Jonathan are simply not acceptable.
It helps to have a questionable IQ and lack of sporting ethics, the ability to puff out ones chest and confront an opponent who most likely will be doing the same thing, despite looking like two roosters with excess testosterone this appears to be quite acceptable behavior although it is somewhat questionable as to why it is done.
The ball is an oval shape and is quite unpredictable when it hits the ground, if it lands amongst a group many hands will make a grab for it and some players will resort to what is called squirrelling in an attempt to get the player holding the ball to release it, this is an illegal move and can be quite painful for the recipient but the spectators expect it. (Squirreling: Running the hand up the players leg and grabbing food for hibernation)
To bolster egos the teams have names, not simply a town or city name but must have following that represents a fierce or cunning animal, bird or fish, dogs, dingoes, wolves, sharks, hawks are acceptable, goldfish, lovebirds, kittens are not.
The whistle blows and the ball is bounced in the centre and both teams will grope for it like horny inexperienced schoolboys on a first date, one will get it and make a brief run before kicking it to another team member, if it is caught the game stops as this is called a mark and allows the player to kick the ball without interference, if close enough this could score a goal, if not played well it can just miss and still get a minor score, this avoids depression amongst players later as they are quite sensitive and cannot cope with failure.
Another team may get the ball and the charade continues in the opposite direction.
These episodes run for 27 to 33 minutes then a rest period is allowed so the grounds can profit from the sales of tepid pies and bad beer.
There are four of these sessions during the game and all manner of fighting can break out amongst the spectators who have over indulged in the bad beer, this spectacle can be more entertaining than the game itself.
At the end the team with the highest score are declared winners and progress to a series of finals whereby the whole charade is repeated with another team.
This goes on for about six months then the TV stations spend weeks with post mortems as to why one lost when they should have won, the poor sods who do not like this game still suffer when they thought it was all over.
When it finally does subside we then get subjected to cricket but that is another story.
Isn't this sacrilege? You're a "Crow-eater" and making fun of AFL??
I have a similar version for what they call "Football" up here (NRL) - will have to put it here too! Just before I transferred to Townsville, a former workmate in Adelaide said "The Qlders are illiterate as they cannot spell BEER - they only call it XXXX!
I like most sports but AFL holds absolutely no interest for me. I think the best description I have heard is "cross country ballet"!
All that hand waving in front of the poor fool who is about to kick the ball, has that ever resulted in someone actually stopping the flight of the ball? Maybe they realise they are on television and are just waving to their mum at home.
It cannot achieve balance while most of the clubs are based in Vic.
The minor round draw can never be fair because of this inequality.
I find it is KARMA that a Vic club who rarely travels interstate to play gets to play a grand final on their own home ground with the support of 80% of the crowd loses the big game.
Gday...
As a rusted on Pies supporter, I offer the following from an article written by an also-Pies supporter in the media yesterday -
"Were the tears you shed after defeats in 1977 and 1979 and 1980 and 1981 and 1990 (the Pies won, but I was living in London) and 2002 and 2003 and after the psychological release of 2010 - 2011 not enough.
The depth of Collingwood's agony is now easily quantifiable: since 1959 they have played in 16 grand finals, won two, drawn two and lost 12 with six of those defeats by 10 points or less. Thus it is not merely the law of average, but seemingly the law of nature that the Magpies will always lose the close one. Knowing a Collingwood and grand finals almost always finishes in tears it's what we should have expected."
The phrase - "There's always next year" is tattooed on all Collingwood supporters hearts.
Cheers - John
-- Edited by rockylizard on Monday 1st of October 2018 09:40:21 AM
Not certain if it still happens but the State teams of SA, Tasmania & WA used to play the Victorian State team once a year & the he #*!%*! Melbourne-ites were always poaching good players from the other states.
Carry-ball (oops NRL) is ONLY a major in Qld & NSW with the Storm in Melbourne.
All this Aerial Ping-pong stuff is in the right thread "Just Joking".