I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my extended family, friends, and so called friends, but it is difficult in todays world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. With this in mind I met my lawyer yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept, with no obligation implied or implicit, my best wishers for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the annual holiday practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with the respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medical uncomplicated recognition of the onset of this generally accepted calendar year, should it continue after Wednesday, and not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contribution to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference(s) of the wishee.

Please note that by accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him/it/alternate or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Best Regards (without prejudice)

Name withheld (Privacy Act)   

Gees Ya can't win.  I'm offended by the fact that you brought a lawyer and their legal jargon into it.  

Well done Hendo.

I would like to wish everyone  a very merry Christmas but, above all, a safe one.

Hendo wrote:

---

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my extended family, friends, and so called friends, but it is difficult in todays world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. With this in mind I met my lawyer yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:

 

Please accept, with no obligation implied or implicit, my best wishers for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the annual holiday practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with the respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all.

 

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medical uncomplicated recognition of the onset of this generally accepted calendar year, should it continue after Wednesday, and not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contribution to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference(s) of the wishee.

 

Please note that by accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him/it/alternate or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

 

Best Regards (without prejudice)

Name withheld (Privacy Act)   

 

---

Hendo, I take offence to starting with 'her' in the highlighted text.

That said and out the way. May all here have a safe life experience ahead. Enjoy those happy hours though. 

Keep Safe on the roads and out there.