The Grey Nomads Forum

Backing in the van

Southern Cruizer said
10:45 AM Mar 22, 2026

BACKING IN THE VAN

I was propped up in my deck chair, beneath the awning shade.

Id knocked the top off of a stubby, it was about that time of day.

Just then around the corner a car and van appeared.

They had the look of newbies, it was the worst I feared.

They pulled up right adjacent to their allotted spot

They got out and perused the site, to work out what was what.

Then I knew the fun was starting and I cracked the biggest grin.

He said.....'Help me will you honey ,im gonna back her in'.

Now remember dear I told you,the opposite applies.

Right hand down to push her left...left to push her right.

Right then the lady was confused about which hand to wave

I could see this turning ugly , the consequences grave.

The first attempt did not go well, he jack knifed right away

Hon,he said....I told you....it goes the other way.

Darls I know it's awkward, you just do your best

Then the van jack knifed the other way, it was gonna be a test.

He got out of the drivers seat, he said I didn't see your sign

She said....well I was waving dear...both hands...all the time.

He said....I couldn't see you, you were right behind the van.

So stand out to the side a bit....do you think you can?

Surely you can see from there,which way I gotta go..

Surely you can make a sign to let me bloody know?

She said I'm trying ,honestly, to get my signals right

He said.....well try a little harder or we'll be here all bloody night.

She didn't like his tone of voice...and she told him so

Well, he said, you know so much...jump in and have a go.

She slid into the drivers seat....it was really getting tense

Her foot slipped off the pedal,and she backed into the fence

He had a look of horror ...tho the damage wasn't great

She had hit the panic button, she was really in a state

You know you made me do that , you waved that hand not the other

Then through gritted teeth he hissed those fatal words........geez you're like your mother!

WELL!!!! you could have heard a pin drop, he knew he'd gone too far

Her eyes were shooting daggers as she stepped slowly from the car.

She'd spat the dummy properly, thrown the toys out of the cot

And he knew beyond the slightest doubt, he was gonna cop the lot

She had her pointed index finger.... almost on his nose

She made sure he knew how mad she was with the next words that she chose.

'Listen here you senile ****t , I've had about enough

Your superior he man bulldust and all that other stuff.

Get into the car old man..let me see you back the van

Mr. Super bloody stud can do it if anybody can.

I'm going to the coffee shop I don't need this kind of stress

If you were nice to me and patient we wouldn't end up in this mess.

After trying for an hour and not having any luck

He asked me if I'd back it in for him....he'd give me fifty bucks

I placed the van in perfectly...he was organised at last

He handed me the fifty bucks just as my wife walked past.

That sparked a new debate, she called me miserable and cheap

That was fifty dollars I would never get to keep

She took the money from me....and caused a whole new round of strife

She strutted up to their van and gave the money to the wife.

No amount of talking was going to save his skin

She had him on the back foot ...and geez.... didn't she rip in!!

A savage verbal payout ...he had to cop it like a man

All because he couldn't back a flamin' caravan.

Dougwe said
05:19 PM Mar 22, 2026

Mmmmm! Does that come from experience, mate biggrin

Southern Cruizer said
06:03 PM Mar 22, 2026

Nah mate, backing is easy after driving trucks for years and towing and backing the van is a piece of cake

Warren-Pat_01 said
12:45 AM Mar 23, 2026

This should be printed out & pinned up in every laundry or wherever the library is in caravan parks!

Southern Cruizer said
11:24 AM Mar 23, 2026

Warren-Pat_01 wrote:
This should be printed out & pinned up in every laundry or wherever the library is in caravan parks!

Warren I bet it would get plenty of laughs

Post Reply

The Grey Nomads Forum

Backing in the van

BACKING IN THE VAN

Activeboard Mobile