yep fully agree, its a bloody big country dont notice it when you go from one beatifull spot to another, spent six months just doodling around N.S.W. one year, still dont reckon we seen it all, I just want to keep going and going dont want to come home, thanks be to ya general, we just put our thoughts and mind wanderings down as you all should, after all thats what the forum is here for, travellers sharing good times with fellow travellers and occasionally passing on a little bit of knowledge gained through time, gone are the days of "ask the expert crap" we are all freinds talking, sharing experiences and hopefully helping along the way. just the same as we do when around a fire in the middle of nowhere except its a bit drier here. if we bring a smile along the way, my job is done

Yep, Australia is BIG! I talk to a few people UpOver who think we are just a little island down here. I had a map somewhere that compares Aus to USA, and we are around the same size. Some think Texas is big.............................

It's always interesting talking to people of European descent who are here for a 1 month holiday in a camper and even their Tutonic efficiency does not prepare them for the distances involved. One chap was talking to me at the Daintree Ferry Xing and wanted to know if the car they had hired would be ok to Cooktown (Bloomfield track) I pointed out to him that he would be washed away at the first creek....I also took great pleasure in explaining that the crockodile warning signs were written in German first because Australian Crokidiles prefered the taste of Europeans because we Aussies were "Tough".... Not that I don't like tourists but if I went to their country I'd be better prepared....

clazandaza wrote:

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I was at a petrol station in Cairns recently (in uniform filling up a police 4x4) when two German lads in a very ordinary looking L300 van asked me and my partner how to get to Normanton.  They were planning a trip to Broome via Hells Gate, Fitzroy Crossing etc.  My partner and I are both from Western Qld so we had look at their gear.  Spare tyre good for about four Ks.  Wheel bearings on front wheels cactus, No spare fuel or water containers and paid about $4 grand too much for the $5 grand vehicle.   They also wanted to know if they could sleep in their sleeping bags on the ground in areas such as Leichardt Falls.  'Sure' we said, 'Crocs love Germans for breakfast.'   Unfazed they thanked us very much and went off to buy a spare tyre, jerry can and some croc repellant. 

We used to lose a lot of Germans out west.


Ian Anderson (Pauline's toy boy)

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Ahhhhh Croc repellant....I thought they would have needed a licence to carry a 12 gauge??? You see it was the UNIFORM, these Teutonic types love a "Father Figure" and as you were in Uniform....
There is so much space out there you could loose anybody and occasionally a weird story surfaces like the guy wandering around a campsite at Lake Amadeus a few years ago and unearthed a mummified leather pouch (it was a bulls scrotum for those of you who must know) full of spanish coins dating from the 1600's, mind boggling as to how it got there and was never found untill 1998...
I'll try and find a URL to the story, I believe the ATO would still be investigating.

Lesley, enjoy your trip. Yes Barra, the famous barra & chips....Well take it from me that the Barra if fresh is fantastic if frozen no so good. Our best F&C comes from areas where there is fresh seafood and fresh spuds to handmake the chips so the NSW coast is a good starting point. Best restaurant in NSW is at Harrington on the lower mid north coast just north ( 45 mins) of Taree. You can get a fantastic lunch there, whiting, flathead etc or a seafood basket all fresh, none of the frozen stuff for au$12  (12 pounds) spectacular views, do try it, called Inspirations at Harrington.
Now a question as an Aussie beach lover can you tell me how you could actually enjoy one of those english beaches that are made of "gibbers" Oz slang for round stones? Oh and we actually go in the water, don't sit at the seaside in deck chairs with blankets wrapped around us listening to Reg Dixson play organ memories.... " Oh we do like to be beside the seaside, Oh we do like to be beside the sea....."
You will also discover that we have very dry sense of humour...you will have seen these Q@A's from our tuorist board...
These questions were posted on an Australian Tourism Website & the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour

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Q:  Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never  seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow?  (  UK).

A:  We  import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them  die.

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Q:  Will  I be able to see kangaroos in the street?  (  USA  )

A:  Depends  how much you've been drinking.

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Q:  I  want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I  follow the railroad tracks? (  Sweden  )

A:  Sure,  it's only three thousand miles, take lots of  water.

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Q:  Are  there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send  me a list of them in Brisbane ,  Cairns ,Townsville and Hervey  Bay ?  (  UK  )

A:  What  did your last slave die of?

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Q:  Can  you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ?  (  USA  )

A:  A-fri-ca  is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in  the middle of the Pacific which does not
... oh forget it. Sure,  the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come  naked.

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Q:  Which  direction is North in Australia ?  (  USA  )

A:  Face  south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and  we'll send the rest of the directions.

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Q:  Can  I bring cutlery into Australia ?  (  UK  )

A:  Why?  Just use your fingers like we do.

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Q:  Can  you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?  (  USA  )

A:  Aus-tri-a  is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is  ...
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every  Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come  naked.

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Q:  Can  I wear high heels in Australia ?  (  UK  )

A:  You  are a British politician, right?

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Q:  Are  there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all  year round? (  Germany  )

A:  No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan  hunter/gatherers.
Milk is  illegal.

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Q:  Please  send a list of all doctors in Australia who can  Dispense rattlesnake serum. (  USA  )

A:  Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All  Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and  make good  pets.

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Q:  I  have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget  its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees.  (  USA  )

A:  It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of  Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath  them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human  urine before you go out  walking.

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Q:  I  have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you  tell me where I can sell it in Australia ?  (  USA  )

A:  Anywhere significant numbers of Americans  gather.

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Q:  Can  you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female  population is smaller than the male popula tion?  (  Italy  )

A:  Yes, gay night  clubs.

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Q:  Do  you celebrate Christmas in Australia ?  (  France  )

A:  Only at  Christmas.

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Q:  I  was in Australia in 1969 on R+R,  and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings  Cross*. Can you help? (  USA  )

A:  Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the  hour..

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Q:  Will  I be able to speak English most places I go?  (  USA  )

A:  Yes, but you'll have to learn it first