The opposite SEX

twobob · Guru

The opposite SEX

mike and Judy · Guru

this is a can of worms I refuse to open,
Bring her along one day Bob, and have a cuppa,----------or beer

Rolly · Guru

Twobob, mate, there are no rules.

Each to his/her own.

What pleases one will not necessarily please another.

The essence to to be true to yourself: Be who you are.

There's altogether too much emphasis on "Doing the right thing" when "right" is a word that's open all kinds of interpretation.

In my case it's WYSIWYG.

I have no further interest in trying to "make a good impression".

If what I am and how I behave naturally doesn't suit, then it's best known to be so; straight off.

I have few close friends, but those that I do have are the kind of people that I would trust my life to.
A large "social circle" would be a complete anathema to me.

In general, I enjoy my own company, but I'm not totally averse to sharing to joys and traumas of life from time to time.

I do confess to being the proverbial 'chatterbox' when I get going, though biggrin

Ma · Guru

What you see is what you get "warts and all"

jimbo · Guru

Let Nature take it's course....What will be ,will be

Cruising Granny · Guru

Hi Bob.
Intersting topic Bob.
We all have our own reasons for being alone, not necessarily lonely. I've noted some people choose to travel alone and leave the partner at home, because one wants to travel and the other doesn't.
So they may not be looking for a mate, but good friendships.
It certainly is possible to have friends of the opposite sex. I'm very good at that, but on the other hand, I'm very, very cautious about relationships of the deeper, more meaningful kind.
Not to say I wouldn't enjoy the company of the right person. Life experiences baggage.
Good friends are so valuable, and even in this nomadic lifestyle, I enjoy meeting people, and some of those become close friends.
This is the value of tagalong travel. Not sharing vehicle and van, but sharing the experience, the chats, happy hour, meals and time. Who knows where it could lead.
Whether it's the bowling club or local network, or The Grey Nomads Forum, the chance of making close and/or intimate friends can happen anywhere, anytime. Life's like that. Cheers Granny

twobob · Guru

I do not think i got my question across correctly.

I was thinking that when out travelling solo (which changed for me recently), what is an acceptable approach to another solo travellers.

For instance, If I was camped up, and another solo traveller entered the camp ground, I would have two approaches.

If they were female, i would not go near them, just so i did not cause them to worry about my motives. I would wave from a distance if the occassion arose, but they would have to break a leg for me to initiate a chat. That may seen rude, but i am thinking of them and do not wish to make them uncomfortable. Maybe being like that causes them concern.

If they were male, I would grab a beer and head over.

Seems very sexist to me, but I suppose thats life. Crazy to think, if both wanted a chat, but were too concerned to have one, for various reasons.

dave06 · Guru

come across this all the time and what we do is to treat male and female identical,

sing out a "g'day" and a " how ya goin, where ya been". when we feel a cuppa coming on we just sing out again and say "billy's on if ya want a brew"

we will intentionally walk past the other persons campsite and say "howdy I'm such and such and this is my wife blah blah" this inevitably leads to more conversation and eventually a sit down and a chat which goes on almost always to drinkys around the fire and a great friendship over the time that we share the grounds and sometimes lasts a lot longer than that

we do not "invade the camp space" as this is home territory and under no circumstances should you enter without prior permission, one wrong move here and you are an ******* for the duration, once that mistake is made there is no going back

whatever your approach make it non threatening and non invasive, give them the "space" they require, everyone is different, they will make it known in body language if they want company or not

most "solo's", like everybody else, love company and are not frightened to seek it out themselves if given the right "messages" and "signals" granny knows what I mean here as will any female solo traveller, everybody likes to feel non threatened and safe and welcome, thats just natural, male or female

we often get approached by solo women simply because I am not threatening and I always speak and I am ALWAYS friendly and outgoing and full of crap, I make people laugh so it is easy for them to feel at home with me, the dragon just puts up with me, but she is very warm and welcoming as well

men are the same all over the place, just sing out "OY GRAB YOUR BEER AND PULL UP A CHAIR" most times they dont need an invite because as two bob says they will grab their beer and wander over anyway.

Cruising Granny · Guru

Oops, Sorry Bob.
When it comes to making an approach to a fellow camper, I often find something of interest to start a conversaton with. If they're from SA or WA I ask where they're from.
Sometimes I get a black look from her indoors, usually fussing inside the van. Once they get to know me the mood turns to a smile, even laughter.
I often make the first move because I think couples are a bit reluctant to approach a solo, especially a female solo carrying a shifter or screw driver, doing her own set up and maintenance. That's after they've watched me back it in. Even that creates a point of interest to chat about. Sometimes the blokes offer chivalrous assistance.
It's a two edged sword. Should we or shouldn't we? Open friendliness is the best way to go about it. Try the approach, and if the response is less that congenial, give it a miss.
Unless the person/couple appears really odd, they are just nomads like the rest of us and willing for a chat over a cuppa or happy hour, and/or the camp fire, as the case may be.
Look forward to that cuppa Dave. Put the kettle on. Cheers Chris

suenami · Senior Member

I think I know where you're coming from Bob. Don't think about it. I've never been approached 'cept for dogs hmm . Only been on the road for four weeks today. But around the Flinders it would have been nice to be 'approached' by anyone. I talk to couples mainly, which is all I encounter lately. But i would feel the same about approaching a man on his own. And probably for the same reason as you. Sounds silly at my age. There's no underlying motive for most solo's other than company and talk. Maybe you and I should wear a T shirt saying "Not looking for a partner - OK to approach". biggrin
Leaving Peterborough tomorrow. Broken Hill then outback Qld. My bones certainly don't like six degrees, like last night.
cheers
Sue

Helen · Veteran Member

Interesting reading. I'll say hello in passing to anyone and quite often it leads to more conversation. Had an interesting experience when in a park on the Murray last year where a group had happy hour including me and a male single. The couples left the next day and as we were still there I asked the guy to join me the next evening for a drink, which he did. there was a group of three couples not far from me, friendly enough but just to say hi. We enjoyed a good chat and he went home to cook his own meal after agreeing we would repeat our happy hour the next day. He did not appear. The next time I saw him he apologised and said that the three couples were giving him funny looks as though they did not approve of him sittng with me and he did not want to embarrass me. I was stunned. I thought it very sad that he thought it was anyones business but ours, after all we were sitting outside in full view and not doing anything but talking. I have never been annoyed by any male single or otherwise and enjoy having a chat. Certainly not looking for a relationship and I do think it possible to have male friends. I find that men will approach with an offer of help to back, unhitch, hitch etc. Sometimes I accept but quite often I don't as it throws me off the routine I have and something will be forgotten! But you guys, don't stop saying hello!
Cheers Helen

pawsoz · Senior Member

Two Bob,
Of course it is more than possible to have male and female friends! In fact having previously been involved in a blokey sort of sport I have a few mates wo are blokes with happy marriages - thier wives are friends too of course but we met because it was the men fok who were doing the same stuff. Also when I first got my Motorbike licence it ws a male member of Ulysses who used to take me out and follow my little 250 around Gippsland (he rode a R1 sports bike and it must have driven him nuts) his wife didn't like riding and didn't like him riding with a whole lot of blokes either.
Speaking for myself 2 Bob i would like to hink if I pulled up into any camp site after I had done my setting up bit and had the chair out anyone would feel comfy coming up to say hallo, sadly though experiance has shown me that this is not always the case.
Once I am settled I will often tae a slow walk around the camp with Clancy my Whippet, people will often talk to me then - and I will say hallo to everyone I meet. I usually find something to say about their rig or where they have come from today....
I like to be treated as a friend by all so that is how I treat all in return, if things where to go any further it would be by natural progression (and it would really leave me at a loss coz it has been rather a long time!)
Annie

jimbo · Guru

Suenamie...That is a great idea......Straight to the point.....But after a few reds.....Anything can happen

suenami · Senior Member

NOT, Jimbo. biggrin

can't store enough red, that's my problem. Mostly echo Rolly's sentiments. (always open-minded)....

dave06 · Guru

as my mother used to say to my sister "you may have an open mind if you wish, provided your legs remain closed"

Cruising Granny · Guru

Thanks "dad".
We are hopefully old enough, and wise enough to make our own choices.
Red, or white. Large one or small one. One or two.... or more?
Ditto for the men and women we meet.
I'll put the kettle on. Chris

dave06 · Guru

damn, I was hoping that I was of the age whereupon I can still make the wrong choices!!

jimbo · Guru

Dave 06 That is so funny...I'll be using that one again when I'm up on the Murray River....And how true....

Cruising Granny · Guru

I often say, "We don't make mistakes, we just have bad experiences."
I enjoy a chat around the camp with anyone who says g'day or I say g'day to.
It's quite simple really. First we have to meet people to determine if they are the type of people we want to speak to, and spend time with, just getting to know them.
I don't know why it seems such a strange concept for men and women to be mates, but I have quite a few bloke mates who I'm in contact with all the time. Not a relationship or bonk in sight, no matter how many reds I consume.
And then there are the "conquests"............
Being approachable, open and friendly is the best way to be, and the best way to meet people. What will be, will be. Cheers Chrissy

Roostertales · Senior Member

Anybody who can still think about this stuff isn't old enough to be here -pour me another red please