A long haired Bogan walked into the  Centrelink office to pick

 up his dole cheque.   He marched straight up to the counter and said,

 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing the dole. I'd really rather have a

 job.'

 The Centrelink girl behind the counter said, ' Your timing is

 excellent, Sir..'

 'We have just received a job opening from a very wealthy old man who

 wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll

 have to drive around in his 2009 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply

 all of your clothes.

 Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be

 expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is

 rather awkward to say, but as part of your job assignment, you will

 also have  to satisfy her sexual urges, as the daughter is in her

 mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive.

 A two-bedroom loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc.

 located above the garage will be designated for your sole use and the

 salary is $200,000 a year. '

 The  Bogan, plain wide-eyed, said, ' You're bull****in' me!

 The Centrelink worker replied, ' Yeah, well ... you started it.'