Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and > acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that > Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the > deal had been in the works for about 1300 years.
> While details were not available at press time, it is believed that > the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days > of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides. By combining > forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently > high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the > new holiday is being called.
> Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a- > milking being the hardest hit. As part of the conditions of the > agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be > replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.
> Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," > the message on the dreydl will be the more generic "Miraculous stuff > happens." In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to > use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and > delivering their gifts.
> One of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least > three hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children > could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat > for dinner. A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally > declared to be Kosher. All sides appeared happy about this.
> A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover > of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well. He merely pointed out > that, were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the > merger between Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an > unfair cornering of the holiday market. Fortunately for all > concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive > balance. He then closed the press conference by leading all present > in a rousing rendition of "Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful."
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Daisy and Disco Duck
Adelaide South Australia
Gotta Think Outside the Square!
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
If at First You Don't Succeed.......Redefine Success !!
Don't take life too seriously.... No one gets out alive
KIA Sorento CRDi EX ( Ebony black) with 5 hex chrome plated tire air valve covers, Coramal Sunsheild, Elcheapo GPS, First Aid Kit, full KIA toolkit & Yellow lenses on the Foglights......
a skewer up his freckle and slowly roasted over an open flame with a bottle of maybe a late harvest clare valley chardonnay
I remember a couple of primary school football teams named Richmond and collingwood, have they learnt to play with the big boys yet, .................go crows!!!! LOL!!! bring it on!!
There is NOWAY you are putting nails through my hands Basil LOL
Naaaaaaaaa Cruified Duck is an Easter dish
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Don't take life too seriously.... No one gets out alive
KIA Sorento CRDi EX ( Ebony black) with 5 hex chrome plated tire air valve covers, Coramal Sunsheild, Elcheapo GPS, First Aid Kit, full KIA toolkit & Yellow lenses on the Foglights......
well thats not nice, calling ducky a basted! and you should learn how spell you hippocritomus!
I have it on good advertisement that one of duckys daddys (well one of many potential fathers that would admit to such a union) was an indian runner who mistook his butt ugly black duck mother as a chinese mallard and produced what was later described as quote "most horrid thing to have ever emeged from a duck egg" unquote
when the duck hatched the doctor slapped his mother! boom! boom!
this was duly announced in the lancet as "the most significant find from the animal kingdom, being neither of obvious fowl or beast"
"a miricale that even the most horrendous of unions may produce an 'almost' inteligent lifeform,"
they went on to say " the common call was of course to aneth, anaethat, andsoi,.... put him down" but the kiddies liked him and wanted to feed him to the snake, however this was deemed far too cruel to the snake and "it" was given freedom
"it" was later adopted by an afghani couple who despite the ridicule and public banishment from their tribe, kept their "pet"
"it" later escaped by joining a flock of seagulls portraying himself as "the ugly duckling" and was sure to grow to be the beautifull swan which we all know is baloney!
but after a few indescretions with fowl various "it" was publicly banished to the wilds and now we have him!
god rest our souls! and give us the strength foresight and knowledge to put up with him!
Now you really have me rattled DaveO..............where did you get my family tree??. How do you know so much?...........unless...................no..................it couldn't be ...............but wait a minute ...............there is some resemblance.....................it is you isn't it. YES!! hello Achmed "the carrier of the Afghan Village Leader's Night Bucket".......it really is you. So good to see you. Thank you for providing cover for my escape by spilling the entire bucket over your head!! By the time they had finished laughing at you I was miles away with that flock of seagulls!!
I never did get to thank you for your help. No wonder you knew so much about me. I can remember you sitting there in your old filthy robes begging me to tell you my life's story.
By the way..............the indiscretions were really not that at all but liasons..............we DUCKS have culture.
Now if you have finished having a go at The DUCK................get back to work. We need the money.
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Daisy and Disco Duck
Adelaide South Australia
Gotta Think Outside the Square!
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
If at First You Don't Succeed.......Redefine Success !!
Tell him or her to bring a bottle of 15 year old Dimples or 12 year old GlenLivet, and I will sit and listen.
Oh by the way DD have just come back from lunch at the chinese restaurant and the most expensive meal on the menu was,..................................... wait for it
Peking Duck. LOL LOL and yummy
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If I don't get there today, I'll get there tomorrow or the day after.
John & Irona..........Rockingham Western Australia
we went to a chinese restaraunt last year and as we sat down I spied across the way a pot on another table, everytime I looked at it it would raise it's lid showing a tiny pair of eyes and when discovered it would slam back down again
I'd look, it would slam back down, I asked the waiter to come over, and he did so, I asked him to just watch the lid, and sure enough it rose, showed a pair of tiny eyes then slammed back down
with a nod of his head and a look of understanding he announced to me........................................ "sir that is our roast of the day, PEEKING DUCK"
Aw, poor Ducky! Are the big boys picking on you again. Tsk tsk tsk tsk. Poor Ducky Diddums. Now you big boys leave poor littly Ducky alone - stop picking on him - unless of course he picks on you first, then it's open season on the Duck!
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20ft Roma caravan - Mercedes Benz Sprinter - SA-based at the moment. Transport has no borders.
Management makes the decisions, but is not affected by the decisions it makes.
Aw, poor Ducky! Are the big boys picking on you again. Tsk tsk tsk tsk. Poor Ducky Diddums. Now you big boys leave poor littly Ducky alone - stop picking on him - unless of course he picks on you first, then it's open season on the Duck!
In my neck of the woods it is always open season on Ducks.
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If I don't get there today, I'll get there tomorrow or the day after.
John & Irona..........Rockingham Western Australia
The Duck is conspicuous by it's abscence.... May have been accompainied by a sour cherry sauce....
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Don't take life too seriously.... No one gets out alive
KIA Sorento CRDi EX ( Ebony black) with 5 hex chrome plated tire air valve covers, Coramal Sunsheild, Elcheapo GPS, First Aid Kit, full KIA toolkit & Yellow lenses on the Foglights......
