Finding it hard to make up my mind

Nelly · Guru

Finding it hard to make up my mind

Happywanderer · The Master

We all have them Nelly. Just get out there and experience life on the road.
I was exactly the same as you, minus the hubby.
Best move I ever made.
In your case have smaller trips so hubby doesn't think you've forgotten him.

Nelly · Guru

Thanks for the reply Happywanderer - how is Zena going?

shekon · Guru

Nelly go for it. Like HW said, make them shorter trips so hubby knows you are still thinking of him, many ways to stay in touch with the family while on the road.

Been going for 10 weeks now, best thing I could have ever done. We all have the doubts and wonder what if, but it is all good in the end.

As with an airplane, the most energy is taken up by that very first step, after that all plain flying.

There are lots of things to learn, a new language that is spoken, things you never knew about but know very quickly what is what, and you will find yourself doing things that you never knew you were capable of doing.

Good luck with it all.

Bryan · Guru

Nelly, its not an easy decision. You only have one life and sometimes you just need to do what you want to do.

jules47 · The Happy Helper

Nelly - all the replies above say what I was going to say - but I must say that Bryan's words of wisdom ring very true - you only have one life, and you should live it to the fullest - we don't know what is around the corner.

peterblack · Senior Member

it is very true sometimes u have to brake away and start a new life. I did after 35 plus years.
now to buy a mode of transport and move on.so to speak.
motels etc become expensive after awhile. but its a way of getting about until then.
I think it could be my new years resolution.
enjoy life.

dundreamin · Veteran Member

I know exactly what you mean Nelly. I don't have a husband but I do have an 81yo father who relies on me for company and support. He has chronic renal failure and on dialysis and for me just taking off and leaving him to fend for himself is not an option. Neither do I want to just sit around and wait for him to pass on, so for now I have to content myself with a week or two or three here and there when I can. I'm thinking of trying a couple of months next year but I don't plan too far ahead. I would say just start off with a few short trips and perhaps gradually extend them. You never know if hubby is able to travel he may change his mind.

Sammie54 · Newbie

Hi Nelly I am in a similar situation as Dianne & Dusty, with my elderly mum. I lost my hubby a few years ago and I know this new part of my life I will be doing with his blessing. I am about to take the first step and tag along with some friends to Melbourne from Boonah in February and can't wait. This will be my introduction to travelling on the road. The next time it will be on my own, maybe with Mum and my two dogs sometimes. All the best and good luck, Sammie54

beiffe · Guru

Hi Nelly might be a good time to rethink your life.
Not aware of your circumstances but perhaps you need to have a good think of what you want from your life now the kids are gone etc.
Do you want to spend the rest of your days staring at walls because your husband does not want to travel or do you want to get out and enjoy every day you have left.
Will you be content to just have short trips if you do make the plunge.
Make a list of your thoughts / desires and then perhaps chew them over with a friend or an offspring you can trust and talk to and then perhaps a talk to the other half and make him aware of the risks he is taking by staying home and denying your wishes.
Are you prepared to go off into the blue yonder and perhaps never come home and is he prepared to take the risk that this is what could happen.
Are you prepared to be away for extended periods away from your husband and family or will you fret and need to return.
Do you really want / need to get out of the house for your sanity as well as see the great country we call home.
Once out on the road the next spot on is always better than where you are so you will want to venture further and further.
You will never be alone on the road it is just a different type of life and family.
The good part is you are in control and the bad part is you may miss your family but it is usually when you are on your own so stick with others till that passes and then you will be OK.
Speak to the girls on the road as they are the ones who have left the kids etc and can advise, and it would be harder for a lady compared to us men. Even though we miss family etc. we are more adapt at shutting it out.
Regards
Brian

jules47 · The Happy Helper

Sammie54 wrote:
Hi Nelly I am in a similar situation as Dianne & Dusty, with my elderly mum. I lost my hubby a few years ago and I know this new part of my life I will be doing with his blessing. I am about to take the first step and tag along with some friends to Melbourne from Boonah in February and can't wait. This will be my introduction to travelling on the road. The next time it will be on my own, maybe with Mum and my two dogs sometimes. All the best and good luck, Sammie54

Hi Sammie - and welcome to the site - I used to live in Boonah, before hitting the road full time with my partner, in our motorhome. This life is very addictive - we currently have three solo ladies here at Greens, another is arriving today - all different circumstances - one has been on the road about three years now, permanently, another has recently gone full time on the road, though has done lots of travelling in her motorhome, and the other lives in a house, but travels as much as she can. The are all very happy with their lifestyle, I believe, and wouldn't change a thing.

Cruising Granny · Guru

It's painless to do it on your own. It's a huge, daunting dream when you're sitting at home looking at the road maps and Camps book. The hardest part after you make up your mind to do it, is to decide whether you turn right or left out of the driveway, unless you live in a cul-de-sac, of course.
If you're caring for an elderly relative, there are respite opportunities which will give you the chance to have time to yourself, to travel to your chosen destinations.
Short trips are a great way to start. You decide how long and where to. Warning here though, you will want to stay away longer and go further each time you venture out.
When I set out with my caravan my destination was the Daintree, via the Great Ocean Road. It took 12 months.
If you sit at home thinking, "What if...?" you'll never leave that chair.
Make sure you have comprehensive Automobile Association membership and I hope you never have to use it.
Make sure you know your vehicle.
I have had my Mercedes Sprinter 6 months, and I learned lots about the electric system yesterday when a neighbour moved the deep cycle battery, the charger and installed a bank of fuses.
It pays to know how to check the coolant and oil, and what fluids to use in your vehicle of choice. Green coolant concentrate or the red stuff? Synthetic or real oil? How the vehicle behaves in tricky country.
eg mine warms up a bit in 5th gear if I make her work a bit hard through the Adelaide Hills. Just change back a gear and she's a happy camper.
Then share your travels with your stay at home partner or relative. You are entitled to have a life of your own.
Happy New Year - make the most of it.

Nelly · Guru

Thank you all for your ideas - 'food for thought' so they say. Watch this space.......(not sure for how long though!!!) lol

valnrob · Guru

Hi Nelly, we met a lady last weekend in same situation as you. Her hubby doesn't want to travel so she goes on her own.She's got a Mercedes Sprinter and gets away whenever she feels the urge. Shes taken herself over the Birdsville track and heaps of other places. She really enjoys it and her husband is happy with his stay at home life. Get out there and do it

Cheers

grumpy790 · Member

g'day Nellie. sometimes we make the decision, sometimes it's made for us. I 'wished' for more than 10 years before the decision was made for me (the ex found someone "more stable") so we sold the house and went our separate ways 4 years ago. she now has a townhouse in the city and I have the whole country. find someone both you and your husband trust (in their own vehicle?) with whom to travel for short trips until you are comfortable travelling alone (it's not that scary) but beware, once the bug bites it won't let go. NEVER camp on your own, always make sure there is someone else at the site before you decide to stay. I always get to a camp early enough to move if nobody else turns up for the night. just do it, I'm sure you'll love it.

-- Edited by grumpy790 on Wednesday 8th of January 2014 09:31:38 AM

Allara · Senior Member

Just back home for a while after 2 years on the road. Don't be nervous, jump right in and get a dog for company.

Cheers
Allara

The dog lady · Guru

grumpy790 wrote:
g'day Nellie. sometimes we make the decision, sometimes it's made for us. I 'wished' for more than 10 years before the decision was made for me (the ex found someone "more stable") so we sold the house and went our separate ways 4 years ago. she now has a townhouse in the city and I have the whole country. find someone both you and your husband trust (in their own vehicle?) with whom to travel for short trips until you are comfortable travelling alone (it's not that scary) but beware, once the bug bites it won't let go. NEVER camp on your own, always make sure there is someone else at the site before you decide to stay. I always get to a camp early enough to move if nobody else turns up for the night. just do it, I'm sure you'll love it.

-- Edited by grumpy790 on Wednesday 8th of January 2014 09:31:38 AM

I like to camp with company, but have also OFTEN camped alone with no problems! But ....... if there are no other campers I always make sure I am out of sight of the road. AND I ALWAYS lock myself in the van when I go to sleep. Worked for me for many years.