Good Morning. We want to apply for a marriage licence.
"Names?", said the clerk. "Tim and Jim Jones." "Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance." "Yes, we're brothers." "Brothers?? You can't get married." "Why not?? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?" "Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!" "Incest?" No, we are not gay." "Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?" "For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects." "But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've claim they'd been denied equal protection under law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman." "Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim." "And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?" "All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."
"Hi. We are here to get married." "Names?" "John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson." "Who wants to marry whom?" "We all want to marry each other." "But there are four of you!" "That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June,
June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me.
All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship." "But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples." "So you're discriminating against bisexuals!" "No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples." "Since when are you standing on tradition?" "Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere." "Who says?? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples.
The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law.
Give us a marriage license!"
"All right, all right. Next."
"Hello, I'd like a marriage license." "In what names?" "David Anderson." "And the other man?" "That's all. I want to marry myself." "Marry yourself?? What do you mean?" "Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return." "That does it!? I quit!!? You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"
...Don't laugh, it's just a matter of time.
Aussie Paul.
-- Edited by aussie_paul on Friday 9th of February 2018 10:09:20 PM
Family Law - where lawyers get clients to disclose all of their assets and income in order that the lawyers can pump out same for their own benefit.
Strategies - 1. divide and conquer and
2. lawyers keep playing the game while the assets are being pumped dry. When the well is dry and the exhausted parties are sufficiently in hock to the lawyers, one side gives the other the wink it's time to close it off.
'There is nothing like an aggrieved, self-righteous client'. Heard from a lawyer acquaintance, who was joking over a drink at the time but obviously meant it.
Ah, but Leo, the definition of a lawyer is a person you dont know, telling you in a language you dont understand that you should fight a case you cant win with money you havent got.
Also, when God created man, He created them Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!
Cheers
Dave
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Dave (Nutgrass)
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Carpe Diem - Seize the day!
You never get a second chance at a first impression, so make the first a good one.
