I am a 55 year old female Author wondering whether to hitch up my caravan and head into the unknown world of caravanning as a single woman OR get a 9 to 5, Monday to Friday job, watch the News and A Current Affair every night with my dinner on my lap and live out the rest of my life in the safety of security??
Oh...BUT ....the freedom I've always yearned for beckons!! What to do? What to do?
After 29 years with the same partner, we divorced two years ago. I returned to my home town of Adelaide after 20 years in Perth to care for my elderly parents.
My Mum sadly passed on my birthday in December last year and my Dad just 3 short months before that.
I have numerous other extreme sadnesses that ground me to a halt over the past 3 years. All my life I have been a daughter, wife, mother, sister, friend and employee.
Now I want to be me!
I believe that this involves buying a caravan and travelling on the road with my first published book and continue writing my second and third books.
BUT I'm SO very scared!
I've never hitched a caravan before.... let alone backed one! I can back a 6x4 trailer though and I hear that's a good start!
I have no ties to bind me here anymore except sadness, regret and loneliness.
Will life be any better on the road or will I just feel sadder amongst all the "couples" travelling out their retirements together in their dream caravan whilst I tow my 2003
model?
What if I get sick?
Will I get work?
What if? What if? What if?
I have this fantastic opportunity to head off to the East Coast and everyone's telling me to do it and that they would in a flash. This IS something I've wanted to do my
whole life BUT with a partner!
Is it the same when you are on your own???
If anyone can provide me with any advice, guidance, empathy or support at all....
You would be making the difference between helping my dream become a reality or staying a dream!
Oh lovey, Dear MazzyMoo, Please just listen to your heart and soul. It is calling loud and clear in an effort to guide you into this new life of yours. It's there for the taking, just one step and then another. Don't think you have to take giant leaps, just one decision at a time and one step forward at a time. You'll be fine, trust in yourself and the divine plan which is yours to explore.
Ignore ALL the "What If's". They are endless, trust me. This is an easy decision for you and here's an easy idea to help guide you in your decision.
1/. Spend one Day & Evening ONLY thinking about one of your choices (staying and not travelling)......review and note how do you feel emotionally and feelings wise. Eg. Stressed, Happy, Sick, sense of wellbeing, Panicked, Excited, Depressed, Euforic, Angry, Elated, Sad, Peaceful, Scared, Energised, etc.
Even write a list if it helps.
2/. Then spend one Day & Evening ONLY thinking about your other choice (leaving and travelling) ...... review this in the same way.
I know how you feel Maz - about being just YOU! I am that person now, even though I have a partner - I have freedom to go where I want when I want, but we usually go together. After my husband died, I I had a bit over two years of becoming just me . And I loved it, towed my little caravan to Victoria a couple of times, solo, loved it, the freedom to come and go, not be responsible for or to anyone - learning who I was.
Then I met my love, a fellow traveller, we met through this forum, and have now been together for six years, We travel in his motorhome, towing a little car, which is mine, as he calls it my escape route if I ever leave him. Not that it is likely. I am a happy person, I do what I have always wanted to do, but the responsibility of a house and children always came first.
There are several women on here who are single, and travel in their vehicles, some have caravans, a lot have motorhomes of one sort or another. One thing about a motorhome is that if you ever feel unsafe camped somewhere, into the front seat and drive away - no getting out of van, and into car, or even having to hitch up. But, each to his or her own.
As for backing - go do a towing course - well worth it. My lawnmower man used to move my car to the front of my driveway when he cut the grass, so I would have to back it to it's parking spot at the other end of the driveway - he did this to MAKE me learn. Good friend.
Read some of Happy Wanderers posts, or Spida's, there are a heap, some don't post on here much anymore, but do occasionally. Go to the blog section of the forum - look for Yeoeleven's blog. He was 74 when his wife kicked him out, and is now 81 - been a solo traveller all this time, slowed down a bit, but still on the road. He has lived on his pension the whole time.
Good luck - you are only young still - you have YOUR life ahead of you - go for it. It's a great life.
-- Edited by jules47 on Tuesday 13th of March 2018 06:06:27 PM
I know how you feel Maz - about being just YOU! I am that person now, even though I have a partner - I have freedom to go where I want when I want, but we usually go together. After my husband died, I I had a bit over two years of becoming just . And I loved it, towed my little caravan to Victoria a couple of times, solo, loved it, the freedom to come and go, not be responsible for or to anyone - learning who I was.
Then I met my love, a fellow traveller, we met through this forum, and have now been together for six years, We travel in his motorhome, towing a little car, which is mine, as he calls it my escape route if I ever leave him. Not that it is likely. I am a happy person, I do what I have always wanted to do, but the responsibility of a house and children always came first.
There are several women on here who are single, and travel in their vehicles, some have caravans, a lot have motorhomes of one sort or another. One thing about a motorhome is that if you ever feel unsafe camped somewhere, into the front seat and drive away - no getting out of van, and into car, or even having to hitch up. But, each to his or her own.
As for backing - go do a towing course - well worth it. My lawnmower man used to move my car to the front of my driveway when he cut the grass, so I would have to back it to it's parking spot at the other end of the driveway - he did this to MAKE me learn. Good friend.
Read some of Happy Wanderers posts, or Spida's, there are a heap, some don't post on her much anymore, but do occasionally. Go to the blog section of the forum - look for Yeoeleven's blog. He was 74 when his wife kicked him out, and is now 81 - been a solo traveller all this time, slowed down a bit, but still on the road. He has lived on his pension the whole time.
Good luck - you are only young still - you have YOUR life ahead of you - go for it. It's a great life.
sent you a private message , but feel free to email me , currently travelling solo fulltime and living in my van , love it , yes would love to have some one to share it with , but take doing it by myself any day over being in one place doing the same thing day in day out , not for everyone but highly recommend the life style , my caravan is my home and never once thought otherwise, my home is just on wheels
-- Edited by jgb on Tuesday 13th of March 2018 12:56:11 PM
Just do it . What I have found on security. Donât camp just out of town . Either in town . Or way out . Yes a small well set up van or light bus converted to motorhome is another option . Just use awning . So packing up for day drive is not an issue. Keep us informed how your going . We are only too keen and helpful here !! Enthusiastic even if we look like a group of narks at times ! Lol
"Will life be any better on the road or will I just feel sadder amongst all the "couples" travelling out their retirements together in their dream caravan whilst I tow my 2003 model?"
This and other remarks suggest you have a lot going on. If only we could walk away from what troubles us and our angst.
Is there any way you could hire, maybe a small motorhome, to try some short trips to 'suck it and see'? Does it have to be the dramatic all or nothing?
I would put just a little thought to it, firstly do I want a Caravan, Campervan or Motorhome. Rent one and see if that fits the skin you are in now......
Then take a step, then another, then another...... eventually you will be in a place where you can write that book.....
Some very sage replies to your post, the only "what if" I can think of from the perspective of being the same age as you are, is this,
"What if" you don't go??
If you procrastinate..... the time may pass to the extent you can't go. That would be the greater disappointment as far I am concerned....
Who knows? You may even meet a Mr "Rightforyou" as you go...perhaps more chance of that possibility being out n about rather than at home feeling sad.....
By the way a caravan is much easier to reverse than a 6x4 trailer......in my opinion. But as has been advised, do a towing course.
You will enjoy the freedom of the road and travelling to new places which should do wonders for your mental health.....well I know if I was in your position it would be an easy choice.
I don't often get on here these days, but I felt I should reply to your query.
I'm a 52 year old woman travelling with my 24.5ft caravan on my own and have been for a number of years.
I had a bit of a giggle with your December birthday, because 75% chance you're a Sagittarius (I am), so fighting your urges will be futile let me tell you.
I can't answer your question about if it's the same on your own or partnered, as I've been single 15+ years.
Hitching a van is easy. You make it easy. You learn ways to make it easier the more experience you get. You're a human, so you shouldn't have too many worries .
Backing is also easy. Easier than trailers, as you can see it. Slow and steady wins the race and using spacial awareness skills (not just wildly reversing forgetting you have X Number of feet behind you, knowing how high you are and if you'll clear that branch etc).
I never feel sadder seeing the couples. In fact where I am right now there are two couples and 7 singles!!! I do still sit and watch TV with my dinner on my lap though......but that's just me.....I find being on the road full time I don't need to be seeking out happy hours flat out. That's for the tourists I say.....I'm a traveller. I'd have a drink if there was a happy hour and I was invited.....but I think it's only usually in the mad tourist seasons they happen, and quite frankly, I try to avoid the tourist seasons.
Occasionally I have times where I get a bit down about having to deal with stuff on my own (like I got blown away in a storm recently-I'd rocked up with 1 drama and have ended up with about 8). But the boys around the place all mucked in to assist me the morning after the storm....so you're never really alone.
One day many years ago I rocked up to a dump point and there was a single lady there....I lamented how we have to do the 'dirty jobs' ourselves, not having a partner, she said to me "5 minute job, or the alternative???" LOL, I have to agree with her. It is very peaceful to be alone. No one in your way while you're cooking, no one burping, hoiking and farting, no one tossing and turning when you've just got back to sleep, no one to want to move on when you want to stay put or vice versa, no one using the water up. I also get to watch married at first sight uncontested.
I've tried not to think too much about getting sick. I've got some physical stuff going on that I'm trying madly to get on top of.....because I'd be devastated if I had to pull up stumps and give it all up. I say I'll travel until 'I can't or cark'.
Work I can't really comment on, as I gave it up as a bad joke. I'm often offered work though and there's a lot of work out there. Of course I think it would depend on how flexible in the sort of work you'd do.....if you were only looking for one sort there may be a problem, but if you're willing to be broad with what you'll do......I'm certain obtaining work would not be a problem.
The only downside is that my children and grandchildren are interstate so I don't get to see them that often, one I've never met. But really, I feel like I did my time with them all......for the most part alone too, so it's my time now. I'll get back there one day, in the mean time they can always visit me.......it's always been me doing the visiting.
As for the what if, what if's?.......push them to the back of your head and don't listen. Also don't listen to the many 'well wishers' that will try and put doubts in your mind. I had it all.......including "it's alright for some isn't it?" So I replied "you too can make some very tough life and financial decisions if you'd like to do it as well".
Ignore it all and march forward. You will not be sorry!
Well thought out Grubby, great to see women out there seeing this amazing country - I love meeting up with them, and chatting - sometimes even getting their stories.
As for grandchildren - I saw my whole immediate family together for the first time in many years over the Christmas - New Year period. May not happen for many, many years - but - hey we are all ok with that - all grown now.
Take the plunge MazzyMoo - you won't regret it. Keep us posted.
__________________
jules "Love is good for the human being!!" (Ben, aged 10)
Ok....You, I feel have made the difference between making my dream come true or it not!
Life as I once knew it is over and I must accept that and let it go and now creating a new "normal" for me, is both tantalisingly tempting but the voices belonging to others in my head ie parents, ex, kids, etc have been louder than my own of late. However, for years, even whilst I was married and lived in Perth, I spent hours "fantasising" about life on my own in a caravan travelling the east coast of Australia promoting both my book and my work. It was deep in my gut! Perth was never home for me and after 20 years living there and a 27 year marriage my husband gave me the gift of divorce to go "find myself". I now "can't" not...or I'd be letting myself down.
It's the security of paying rent to live in this lovely house here on the beach in Victor Harbor that I will sadly miss however, swapping it for hundreds of beaches the same or better is beckoning me...Why? I can't be certain. Is it just a fantasy of mine? Wanting or needing to run away from my pain? Nah! I have the chance now and I need to do it...Talking on this forum has been so very helpful as I can process my thoughts....
Confidence....I have it....
Common sense... I have it....
Vast job experience....I have it...
A sense of humor....I have it...
Inner strength....I'm finding it...
It's just taking the step out of the life once perceived as mainstream and normal. However, I have this sense that once I cross the border leaving the tragedies of WA and SA behind me, the smile will return to my eyes, heart and Soul and I will "Know" I've come home....
Thank you to you and everyone supporting me through my major life decision...one that I'm now turning into a book...one of 3 I am writing at the moment!
I will stay posted...
PS How do you access internet whilst on the road on say a laptop please?
Hi MazzyMoo, Access to the Internet is easy. I live full time in my van and I find wherever I am, that Telstra has been fine. I went to JB Hi-Fi and got a "Netgear" modem (recently updated to be 4 & 5 G ). It is the size of my hand and easily fits into a handbag if you are goinginto town and want to stay connected.
It charges by 12v (or 240v if you have it). I pay a monthly fee using E-Banking (paid fortnightly to make it manageable)and the 20GB of data can be accessed by my Laptop, Tablet and Mobile. One thingy for all 3 of my communication devices. Easy. I use Wiki Camps to choose where to stop and I have "Telstra" listed in my filters. This ensures I can use my internet and I feel much safer and happier being connected to the outside world and my camping club online. The plan I have chosen costs me $98.30 a month (includes mobile phone talk/text, and 20GB data for internet not matter which device I use) but you can choose what suits you of course.
Hope this info helps. Have fun planning your new life. Kind regards, Panther.
Just so you think woman donât do this much on their own !! I would guess 2/3 of single people out there traveling when we did the 3/4 Vic- SA - WA- NT loop . Where woman . So please donât think your being different . Just learn a few things as in a little maintence and setting up ! Tieing knots etc . Just ask . Donât feel imbarased !
You will get many 'naysayers' (not here, but in your everyday life). They are just jealous, because they dream, but can't achieve it. I hope I help you cement that it's the best life. Over the 7 years I've been on the road, I've had help from people and I've also provided a lot of assistance to people. It's just how it is on the road. I had some 'man' help this arvo.....and I'm going to help this guy with some computer stuff in return. It's just how our community rolls.
I too was from Perth. Some of my family (not my kids) were the big voices....but I understand that I was looking at 'unfeathering' their nests....so of course they were going to undermine what I wanted for myself. Hehe about the gift of divorce. I always say my ex husband gave me the best lesson in life.....he taught me that you can't polish a turd. This is why I remain happily single really. Perth was never my home either.....despite being born there. I'm searching for somewhere else as I go along really. It'll jump out at me when I find it. Look at my avitar (if that's what it's called)....these are the sorts of places you can rock up and not even be paying rent!!! Minute you're over it.....you go to the next place!!. The fact that it's what YOU want to do is the answer to the question really.
It's good you've got all those traits. I'm sure you totally have the inner strength too. I was 45 when I started, I had old men try and knock me down about my ability to tow a large van (or any van probably).....I didn't listen to any of them. Most instances I see of 'silly billy' towing are from old blokes to be honest. (I'll stand fast for my cyber attacks lol). If you've got the common sense etc, you'll be fine. I'm not saying things won't go wrong (not just towing)....there's a lot to learn about systems (particularly electrical) these days. But you'll be ok I'm sure.
I'm the biggest whinger regarding internet lol. I'm usually as remote as I possibly can be...so I suffer a lot of 'black spots'. I just use my phone as a modem. I use my iPad for most things. I do use the lappie sometimes. Firstly, you'll probably for sure need telstra. I also keep an Optus phone for emergency kind of Comms.....because sometimes you get Optus and no Telstra. But I've only really just got into a civilised area in the last few weeks - and I'm only stuck here due to storm damage to my van.
Ok.......feel free to ask anything, anytime.
I think you need a list. I had 18 months of planning really, prior to my take off. I just looked at every aspect about flicking one life for the other life. I had house etc to flog.....but you need to start looking at what sort of van and vehicle you do want. I didn't even know what towed what in those days lol. But you get there mate.....most importantly.
Grubby. I think you have hit it on the head, loved your quote and I'm a male.
-- Edited by Ge on Thursday 15th of March 2018 10:44:03 AM
Hehe....it's no offence meant (not sure which quote was referenced really)......if it's the 'alternative' reference- then....yeah....lol....I thought what that lady said was pretty true. It can go both ways for sure.....I'm not out to point any particular sex out lol.
I also use the same wi fi device as panther, on some occasions you will come across places you cant get access, dead spots, no service but generally this is not often, this also happens with phone service anyway, don't ever get 100% coverage even with Telstra, been on occasions drove about 7klms from dead spot and got service , grubby Gypsy hit the nail on the head , re reversing caravan , hitching up I do on my own just be careful even if it means hoping in and out of the car a few times more to be on the safe side, I have a piece of timber I wedge between the brake pedal and floor to test the brake lights and yes in regards to needing help or advice regardless of sex , male or female always some one out there will help or point you in the right direction, and you can always seek help here
Howdy all well i am male 54 i am in Victoria i have a 21ft caravan i am in a predicament at the moment i am with a partner (well ex now) we have been together since 2009 we started to live together in 2010 now for the last 4 yrs i have battles to get her to lisean to me about her son doing things around house and had many arguments so 2 yrs ago i told her i dont love her anymore and i moved out for 12 month and than moved back in but there was really nothing it was me that really i was over it all and now i have decided to move out again. But this time its a bit different im on a pension i dont have any spare money so i live fortnight to fortnightly now i am thinking its going to be hard to get a rental because of how much they these days where i am in a little town nothing under $350 and there is only 2 on the list. (please i hope i haven't bored you all) Now i have all ways wont to travel i suppose thats why i got the caravan i went away 3 weeks ago by myself to see how i go by myself only went about 2 hours away it was ok it wouldn't been better if it wasent 42 degs every day hahaha. Now i have read all the chat in this page from Grubby and Panther great read and Maz you in a way like me. Now my brain is ticking all the time on how am i going to fund it all with my pension my tug is a 93 landcrusier thats needs a fair bit of work thats mechanical work when i tow the caravan if i goup a slight hill she gets hot now i have had every thing to do with water done new head radiator thurmo state hoses so on. Now my other thinking is i hitch here but where do i go witch direction i have wikicamps i have hema maps, like i havent done free camping in my caravan yet only caravan parks my caravans got batterys and 2x150 watt solars i have shower and toilet 2 water tanks. I hope i have explained myself ok there is a lot more in my life thats sticks in my head im thinking all the time. Im all ways stressed i have diabetes type 2 iv had a double spinal fusion sorry to bore you all. So any advise is predicated.