|
I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year;
(Preview)
Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of waterI want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.I fin...
|
aussie_paul
|
3
|
1037
|
|
|
|
|
History of Banking- Joke Cyril
(Preview)
Our hopeful future PM, Albo walked into a bank to cash a chequeWhen hes called over to the teller, he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"The teller replied, "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"Albo said, "Truthfully, I didnt bring my ID with me as I d...
|
Craig1
|
2
|
1278
|
|
|
|
|
Relax
(Preview)
Something to think about today as you are sitting down. 1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54 2. The creator of gymnastics died at the age of 57 3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41 4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.James Fuller Fixx credi...
|
Phlipper
|
0
|
985
|
|
|
|
|
Dog Speak
(Preview)
|
Craig1
|
1
|
1486
|
|
|
|
|
Munitions..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1365
|
|
|
|
|
A blonde was playing golf
(Preview)
A blonde was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell.The party waiting behind her was a group from Canberra that included Anthony Albenese.Anthony quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet.She thanked him and started to leave, when he said, "I'm Anthony Albenese and I hope you'll vo...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
978
|
|
|
|
|
Granny / Poppi is off their meds ?
(Preview)
|
Aus-Kiwi
|
0
|
1003
|
|
|
|
|
Strange times ?
(Preview)
|
Aus-Kiwi
|
3
|
1563
|
|
|
|
|
Little Freddy..
(Preview)
Little Freddy, playing with some new friends in the street, he'd been out there for about an hour when he came running in to mum & asked, "Mum, where did I come from?" It was the time that she had dreaded, but it was going to be now or never, so she sat him down and explained all about the birds & the be...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1064
|
|
|
|
|
Irish Smiles......some old, some new
(Preview)
Two Glasgow boys, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jocks forthcoming weddingAye, its all going like magic, says Jock. I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night Archie nods approvingly. He...
|
Bobdown
|
1
|
1272
|
|
|
|
|
Fist day of school.
(Preview)
It was the first day of Third Grade in a new town for Little Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn't get past 20. Johnny, however, did extremely well; he counted...
|
Possum3
|
9
|
2183
|
|
|
|
|
Senior moments
(Preview)
Some good ones..... https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSdkvvsmP/
|
Bobdown
|
1
|
1466
|
|
|
|
|
A WALK IN THE PARK // By Robert Dungey
(Preview)
Dave stood at the counterOf the deli in the parkIt was half past eight and he was scaredCos it was getting darkNow Dave is not a big girls blouseThe dark did not un-nerve himBut his Missus had sent him out for milkAt around about 2.30The walk from where his van was parkedWas not that far at allHe told her he...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1025
|
|
|
|
|
Larry the fighter pilot..........
(Preview)
Larry the Fighter Pilot.A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"Little Larry says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apart...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1044
|
|
|
|
|
Setting an example
(Preview)
Funny https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSdS82qUo/
|
Bobdown
|
1
|
1157
|
|
|
|
|
Friday Funnies.
(Preview)
Friday Funnies..... A blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.'I'm sorry, St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1133
|
|
|
|
|
Bloopers
(Preview)
Look out..... https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSdkTK2MY/
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
1270
|
|
|
|
|
Fancy Dress...........oldie but goodie
(Preview)
A man with a completely bald head and only one leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pir...
|
Bobdown
|
1
|
1082
|
|
|
|
|
The difference in unemployment benefits in Australia
(Preview)
Two guys who worked together in a garment factory were both made redundant, so off they went to Centrelink.Asked about his occupation, the first guy says, Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton underwearThe customer service officer looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled...
|
skins
|
2
|
1247
|
|
|
|
|
Sayings....wise words
(Preview)
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a w...
|
Bobdown
|
0
|
1003
|
|
|
