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Home Improvement Oversight
(Preview)
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Mein
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1
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801
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That’s gratitude for you !
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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0
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546
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Pothole season is open....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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718
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You started it...
(Preview)
A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck;walked into the Centrelink to sign some paperwork.He marched up to the counter and said,"Hi. You know, I just H A T E being on the DOLE.I'd really rather have a job.. I don't like ta...
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aussie_paul
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0
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859
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Seminar...
(Preview)
I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!I was less amus...
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aussie_paul
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0
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846
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After all this rain .
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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1
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1176
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Drink driving
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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1
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825
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Fresh from my shower,
(Preview)
Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.Instead of romantically telling me this is not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: If you want your breasts to grow, then take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between the...
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aussie_paul
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3
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1002
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pfizer and pepsi
(Preview)
only for those who are easily offended
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Craig1
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0
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788
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A Couple From FB
(Preview)
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86GTS
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0
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668
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The Only One
(Preview)
Totally out of the blue, my 55 year old girlfriend said I was the only one she's been to bed with. "What!!!" I replied. She then continued, "Yeah. I've been with a 10, a few 7 to 8s and lots of 5s but you're the only 1."
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Mein
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0
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554
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Butch the rooster
(Preview)
An Oldie but the last lines are relevant..... Butch, The Rooster. Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets (a young hen) and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a l...
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Bobdown
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1
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755
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A man and his wife...
(Preview)
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.Not a chance, says the husband, it is 3:00 in the morning!He slams the door and returns to bed.Who was that? asked his wif...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1109
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Financial Planning...
(Preview)
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died,he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he ha...
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aussie_paul
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1
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804
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vaccinated..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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723
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Messing with old folks....
(Preview)
A retired older couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful,leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply. "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that c...
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aussie_paul
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1
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709
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New York Cabbie..
(Preview)
A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid on the back seat.The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said,"What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't yo...
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aussie_paul
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1
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681
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Early Morning Workout
(Preview)
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Craig1
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4
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1091
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Mother - Daughter Experience
(Preview)
I went to a bar last night; a place thats popular for mature age singles, i.e. 50+ There was one woman, mid 50ish, that kept looking over at me so I went over to her and introduced myself. After an hour or so of chatting, she asked me if I wanted to go back to her place. During the drove there she asked me whe...
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Mein
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0
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602
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How to give a cat a pill....
(Preview)
How to give a cat a pill....Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth an...
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aussie_paul
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2
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847
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