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Taxi.
(Preview)
A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and lay on the back seat.The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.The woman glared back at him and said,"What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't you...
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Possum3
|
0
|
537
|
|
|
|
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BIOLOGY EXAM:
(Preview)
This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'. The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.However, h...
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Possum3
|
0
|
641
|
|
|
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The Dog.
(Preview)
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: Five lamb chops, please.Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dogs mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road...
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Possum3
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2
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1203
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Can you read this
(Preview)
not quite a joke > Can you meet this challenge? > > Weve seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time weve seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimers is a long long, way down the ro...
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Craig1
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2
|
715
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|
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Python.
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
|
823
|
|
|
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The reaper.
(Preview)
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Possum3
|
0
|
693
|
|
|
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Hotline.
(Preview)
I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc....I called a Suicide Hotline.I had to press 1 for English.I was connected to a call center in Pakistan.I told them I was suicidal.They got excited and a...
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Possum3
|
0
|
697
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|
|
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Black Bra.
(Preview)
Black Bra (as told by a woman):I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes....
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Possum3
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1
|
955
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Guido.
(Preview)
The Godfather hires a deaf bookkeeper called Guido, knowing hed hear nothing and could never testify against him.He discovers, however, a year later that the bookkeeper has embezzled $10 million.When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer wh...
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Possum3
|
1
|
859
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|
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The Truth about Eddie
(Preview)
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Craig1
|
2
|
1131
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Drs advice.
(Preview)
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Possum3
|
0
|
677
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|
|
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Shoe shine boy.
(Preview)
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal in minute detail while the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the situation in the...
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Possum3
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0
|
489
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|
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Mafia hit man
(Preview)
Athur, wanted desperately to be a hit man for the Mafia so he approached the boss and asked him for a job. The boss says "You have to prove that you are good enough. Go out and kill these two men with your bare hands. And just to make it a hit, here's a dollar." Arthur is pleased that he has a chance to join the M...
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Buzz Lightbulb
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0
|
602
|
|
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Dad did you know....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
799
|
|
|
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A Blonde Bombshell
(Preview)
Sorry to my "used to be blonde" wife!!! A Blonde Bombshell buys the new Automatic BMW X8 sport.She drives the car perfectly well during the day, butat night the car just won't move at all.She tries driving the car at night for a week butstill no luck. She then furiously calls theBMW dealers and they send...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
615
|
|
|
|
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Patrick & the punt
(Preview)
Patrick was a youthful and hard working Irishman at a Coastal village in Ireland. Daily he would pole a heavy old punt out to sea then work a heavy iron grapple to bring up the sand oysters which he sold to the local ice works. He was a man of regular habits he always arrived home each day at a certain time. Sa...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
555
|
|
|
|
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The Men's Shed Group....
(Preview)
We had a novel experience at a recent meeting of our book club at the Men's Shed. One of our senior members, Ted Roberts who is himself an author lauded for his timeless work "Woodworking for Profit and Pleasure", came up with an interesting suggestion. He said his wife thought that we should read a boo...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
695
|
|
|
|
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The Baptist Dinner...
(Preview)
A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis to socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom-smot...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
555
|
|
|
|
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In the Confessional...
(Preview)
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:"Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hi...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
522
|
|
|
|
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Bit of light humour...
(Preview)
A woman goes into Kmart and tells the shop assistant she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn't work. The shop assistant tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming! "GRAB MY BR...
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aussie_paul
|
2
|
1205
|
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