Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck;walked into the Centrelink to sign some paperwork.He marched up to the counter and said,"Hi. You know, I just H A T E being on the DOLE.I'd really rather have a job.. I don't like ta...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!I was less amus...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Bobdown · Bobdown

Good ending.........

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.Instead of romantically telling me this is not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: If you want your breasts to grow, then take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between the...

Craig1 · Craig1

only for those who are easily offended

86GTS · 86GTS

Mein · Mein

Totally out of the blue, my 55 year old girlfriend said I was the only one she's been to bed with. "What!!!" I replied. She then continued, "Yeah. I've been with a 10, a few 7 to 8s and lots of 5s but you're the only 1."

Bobdown · Bobdown

An Oldie but the last lines are relevant..... Butch, The Rooster. Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets (a young hen) and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a l...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.Not a chance, says the husband, it is 3:00 in the morning!He slams the door and returns to bed.Who was that? asked his wif...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died,he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he ha...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A retired older couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful,leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply. "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that c...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid on the back seat.The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said,"What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't yo...

Craig1 · Craig1

well well

Mein · Mein

I went to a bar last night; a place thats popular for mature age singles, i.e. 50+ There was one woman, mid 50ish, that kept looking over at me so I went over to her and introduced myself. After an hour or so of chatting, she asked me if I wanted to go back to her place. During the drove there she asked me whe...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

How to give a cat a pill....Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth an...

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

Too many jokes repeated too soon, it becomes a bit tiresome. Read back a dozen pages for a bare minimum, a 100 pages would be better.

Radar · Radar

Ivan 01 · Ivan 01

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	You started it... (Preview) A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck;walked into the Centrelink to sign some paperwork.He marched up to the counter and said,"Hi. You know, I just H A T E being on the DOLE.I'd really rather have a job.. I don't like ta...	aussie_paul	0	964	01:10 PM Feb 24, 2022 by aussie_paul
	Seminar... (Preview) I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!I was less amus...	aussie_paul	0	968	01:04 PM Feb 24, 2022 by aussie_paul
	After all this rain . (Preview)	Aus-Kiwi	1	1327	08:55 PM Feb 23, 2022 by Craig1
	Drink driving (Preview) Good ending.........	Bobdown	1	931	08:53 PM Feb 23, 2022 by Craig1
	Fresh from my shower, (Preview) Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.Instead of romantically telling me this is not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: If you want your breasts to grow, then take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between the...	aussie_paul	3	1132	11:05 AM Feb 23, 2022 by bilbo
	pfizer and pepsi (Preview) only for those who are easily offended	Craig1	0	881	09:14 AM Feb 23, 2022 by Craig1
	A Couple From FB (Preview)	86GTS	0	759	05:23 AM Feb 23, 2022 by 86GTS
	The Only One (Preview) Totally out of the blue, my 55 year old girlfriend said I was the only one she's been to bed with. "What!!!" I replied. She then continued, "Yeah. I've been with a 10, a few 7 to 8s and lots of 5s but you're the only 1."	Mein	0	639	12:50 AM Feb 23, 2022 by Mein
	Butch the rooster (Preview) An Oldie but the last lines are relevant..... Butch, The Rooster. Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets (a young hen) and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a l...	Bobdown	1	830	11:05 PM Feb 22, 2022 by oldbloke
	A man and his wife... (Preview) A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.Not a chance, says the husband, it is 3:00 in the morning!He slams the door and returns to bed.Who was that? asked his wif...	aussie_paul	2	1198	10:56 PM Feb 22, 2022 by oldbloke
	Financial Planning... (Preview) Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died,he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he ha...	aussie_paul	1	904	10:50 PM Feb 22, 2022 by oldbloke
	vaccinated.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	2	842	03:37 PM Feb 22, 2022 by Santa
	Messing with old folks.... (Preview) A retired older couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful,leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply. "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that c...	aussie_paul	1	829	03:01 PM Feb 22, 2022 by grahos
	New York Cabbie.. (Preview) A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid on the back seat.The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said,"What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't yo...	aussie_paul	1	759	02:59 PM Feb 22, 2022 by grahos
	Early Morning Workout (Preview) well well	Craig1	4	1189	02:58 PM Feb 22, 2022 by grahos
	Mother - Daughter Experience (Preview) I went to a bar last night; a place thats popular for mature age singles, i.e. 50+ There was one woman, mid 50ish, that kept looking over at me so I went over to her and introduced myself. After an hour or so of chatting, she asked me if I wanted to go back to her place. During the drove there she asked me whe...	Mein	0	686	03:21 AM Feb 22, 2022 by Mein
	How to give a cat a pill.... (Preview) How to give a cat a pill....Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth an...	aussie_paul	2	998	07:12 PM Feb 21, 2022 by Santa
	Repeating jokes too soon very tiresome (Preview) Too many jokes repeated too soon, it becomes a bit tiresome. Read back a dozen pages for a bare minimum, a 100 pages would be better.	Whenarewethere	5	1012	11:02 AM Feb 20, 2022 by peter67
	Capitals (Preview)	Radar	2	890	10:57 AM Feb 20, 2022 by peter67
	Here is one for whenarewethere (Preview)	Ivan 01	6	1090	08:36 AM Feb 20, 2022 by Rob Driver
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