Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science.AND yes ... it was discovered in Australia, which is now the leading producer.The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assista...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Finally, the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and scre...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Wife; "I have a huge bag of clothing that I would like to donate to Salvo's".Husband: "Why not just throw it into the trash? It's much easier."Wife; "But there are poor starving people that could use these clothes".Husband: "Honey, anyone that fits into your clothing is not starving".************...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Oops, doubled up. :( Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Monday 22nd of November 2021 03:28:45 PM

Possum3 · Possum3

Little Johnny is sitting in the back of the classroom when the teacher draws a pickle on the blackboard and asks the class to tell her what it is. Naturally, Little Johnnys hand shoots into the air. Just as naturally, the teacher ignores him because the teacher has had enough of Little Johnnys antics fo...

anolphart · anolphart

Possum3 · Possum3

A lady goes into a bar and sees a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He has the biggest feet shes ever seen. The woman asks the cowboy if what they say about men with big feet is true. The cowboy replies, Sure is, why dont you come back to my place and let me prove it?The woman is curious, so she spends th...

anolphart · anolphart

Gundog · Gundog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDDSeFZuxek 3 up now a new on every friday, their bloody good

Buzz Lightbulb · Buzz Lightbulb

I think that we have already seen a few of these but they still make me smile: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-11-19/comedy-wildlife-photography-award-winners-monkey/100633944

yobarr · yobarr

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

(this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and th...

skins · skins

On the weekend my 16 year old nephew stayed overnight at our home. During discussions over dinner my nephew asked me if it was true that next year at school the boys and girls would be sharing the same facilities which included showering together. I said it looks that way son. My wife who was listening in...

oldbloke · oldbloke

Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.' Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.' Pad...

Possum3 · Possum3

Craig1 · Craig1

Subject: FW: Capital Letters? Who uses them anymore? That is an EXCELLENT explanation! Capital Letters? Who uses them anymore? ... A teachers explanation.From a teacher -- short and to the point. In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages a...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

ARE YOU A VET ?BE SURE TO READ TO THE VERY END.A German tourist jumped in the freezing water and savedMy precious little dog.Upon getting back on the pier, he checked out my puppy and toldme, "Ze dog is ok. He vill be fine."Due to his selfless heroic act, I asked, "Are you a vet?"He replied, "Vet ? I'm fuken...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

This morning I was beaten up by a Busty Woman in an elevator.I was staring at her Boobs.She said, "'Would you please press One".So I did.I don't remember much after that. Aussie Paul.

Bobdown · Bobdown

Rob Driver · Rob Driver

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Our Government, a joke. :) (Preview) Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science.AND yes ... it was discovered in Australia, which is now the leading producer.The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assista...	aussie_paul	2	1125	08:13 PM Nov 22, 2021 by Craig1
	Living life to the full... (Preview) Finally, the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and scre...	aussie_paul	3	1651	04:12 PM Nov 22, 2021 by Southern Cruizer
	Donate!!! (Preview) Wife; "I have a huge bag of clothing that I would like to donate to Salvo's".Husband: "Why not just throw it into the trash? It's much easier."Wife; "But there are poor starving people that could use these clothes".Husband: "Honey, anyone that fits into your clothing is not starving".************...	aussie_paul	0	685	03:14 PM Nov 22, 2021 by aussie_paul
	Our Government, a joke. :) (Preview) Oops, doubled up. :( Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Monday 22nd of November 2021 03:28:45 PM	aussie_paul	0	697	03:10 PM Nov 22, 2021 by aussie_paul
	Johnny again. (Preview) Little Johnny is sitting in the back of the classroom when the teacher draws a pickle on the blackboard and asks the class to tell her what it is. Naturally, Little Johnnys hand shoots into the air. Just as naturally, the teacher ignores him because the teacher has had enough of Little Johnnys antics fo...	Possum3	0	815	08:16 PM Nov 21, 2021 by Possum3
	It's Just Not Cricket! (Preview)	anolphart	1	991	03:37 PM Nov 21, 2021 by Craig1
	Feint Praise. (Preview) A lady goes into a bar and sees a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He has the biggest feet shes ever seen. The woman asks the cowboy if what they say about men with big feet is true. The cowboy replies, Sure is, why dont you come back to my place and let me prove it?The woman is curious, so she spends th...	Possum3	1	691	12:34 PM Nov 21, 2021 by Blues Man
	Tacoma Fire Dept Sign Language (Preview)	anolphart	1	814	11:08 PM Nov 19, 2021 by Bicyclecamper
	You Tube One Nation Cartoons (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDDSeFZuxek 3 up now a new on every friday, their bloody good	Gundog	1	618	08:36 PM Nov 19, 2021 by Craig1
	Comedy wildlife photography (Preview) I think that we have already seen a few of these but they still make me smile: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-11-19/comedy-wildlife-photography-award-winners-monkey/100633944	Buzz Lightbulb	1	853	06:54 PM Nov 19, 2021 by erad
	Birth Control (Preview)	yobarr	0	734	05:18 PM Nov 19, 2021 by yobarr
	RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (Preview) (this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and th...	aussie_paul	0	700	02:18 PM Nov 19, 2021 by aussie_paul
	Boys and girls shower (Preview) On the weekend my 16 year old nephew stayed overnight at our home. During discussions over dinner my nephew asked me if it was true that next year at school the boys and girls would be sharing the same facilities which included showering together. I said it looks that way son. My wife who was listening in...	skins	0	652	09:35 AM Nov 19, 2021 by skins
	Paddy again (Preview) Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.' Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.' Pad...	oldbloke	2	890	09:29 AM Nov 19, 2021 by Blues Man
	Budgeting. (Preview)	Possum3	0	591	07:25 AM Nov 19, 2021 by Possum3
	Use of Capitals (Preview) Subject: FW: Capital Letters? Who uses them anymore? That is an EXCELLENT explanation! Capital Letters? Who uses them anymore? ... A teachers explanation.From a teacher -- short and to the point. In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages a...	Craig1	2	1166	06:29 PM Nov 18, 2021 by Bobdown
	ARE YOU A VET ? (Preview) ARE YOU A VET ?BE SURE TO READ TO THE VERY END.A German tourist jumped in the freezing water and savedMy precious little dog.Upon getting back on the pier, he checked out my puppy and toldme, "Ze dog is ok. He vill be fine."Due to his selfless heroic act, I asked, "Are you a vet?"He replied, "Vet ? I'm fuken...	aussie_paul	2	996	06:24 PM Nov 18, 2021 by Blues Man
	Elevator. (Preview) This morning I was beaten up by a Busty Woman in an elevator.I was staring at her Boobs.She said, "'Would you please press One".So I did.I don't remember much after that. Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	869	01:41 PM Nov 18, 2021 by aussie_paul
	A few laughs (Preview)	Bobdown	3	1017	01:13 PM Nov 18, 2021 by Buzz Lightbulb
	Could take a while to get into QLD (Preview)	Rob Driver	0	594	10:16 AM Nov 18, 2021 by Rob Driver
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